I sat on the couch, Atari joystick in one hand, cold can of Tab soda on the coffee table in front of me. I should have been browsing the want ads, but it’s hard to do when I keep successfully completing levels of Ms. Pac Man. I told myself as soon as I lost a game, I’d stop and look at the paper. Unfortunately, this has turned out to be a strange kind of motivation for me. I’ve never been much good at video games, yet, here I am, two levels from complete victory, and I haven’t even been eaten by one of those little ghost thingies. Not once. I sighed and started the next level. My husband, Todd, was not going to be happy when he came home to find me, here, in my Garfield pajamas, frittering the day away with his old Atari that I found while organizing the closet—another form of procrastination. I told myself that once I alphabetized the shoes, I’d start job hunting. Unfortunately, I never got the shoes alphabetized because I found the Atari in an unmarked box in the back of the closet and immediately hooked it up to the TV.
When I first got up this morning, I told myself I’d make some calls to employers as soon as I finished breakfast. Thing is, I wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t have breakfast and there were dirty dishes in the sink, so I decided to wash those. I told myself I’d job hunt as soon as the dishes were done. Then the phone rang. It was a telemarketer. She wanted to know about my current dishwasher satisfaction. Her survey was 345 questions long. So that took a while. Then, I went to the closet to get dressed and the shoes were all out of order, and we all know what that led to.
So here I am. It’s five p.m., and I haven’t looked at a single job ad. I haven’t even gotten much house work done. Todd, who should be home any minute, was not going to be happy. Exactly one minute before he walked through the door, I completed the final level of Ms. Pac Man and immediately shut the thing off. When I heard his car door slam shut, I picked up the want ads and begin thumbing through them, trying to look very intent. When Todd walked through the door, his eyes bypassed me and went straight to the Atari.
“You found my old Atari?” His eyes glistened with joy, and he looked like he just might cry. “I thought my mom sold it in a garage sale!” He fell on his knees and basked in its 8-bit glory.
“Yeah, I stumbled over it in the closet while I was cleaning.” I turned a page. He switched the Atari on and began playing Ms. Pac Man. “I also looked at jobs today. See?” I held up the paper.
“Good for you,” he said, keeping his eyes on the TV screen. “You wanna play two player? I bet I can beat you.”
I smiled and tossed the want ads aside. Maybe this Atari was my ticket to becoming a full-time pretend housewife.
Stephanie Scarborough lives in Fort Worth, Texas with her two feline overlords. Her work has appeared in The Rose and Thorn, M-Brane SF, and A Fly in Amber. She has fiction forthcoming in A Thousand Faces and Sand: A Journal of Strange Tales. Visit her website at: http://hellostephanie.net.
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19 Responses to “8-BIT PROCRASTINATION • by Stephanie Scarborough”
Comments
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November 2nd, 2009 at 2:17 am
[...] 2, 2009 · Leave a Comment “8-Bit Procrastination” is up at Every Day Fiction. Stop by and rate it and leave a comment if you feel so [...]
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:54 am
Procrastination bytes! I liked this one, being a bit of a procrastinator myself (I was going to join the Procrastinator’s Club but I never got around to it!).
Unfortunately the ending seemed a bit weak, I think it needs a little work … whenever you get around to it.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
This scenario of procrastination sounds awfully familiar…
I liked how she actually answered that telemarketer’s survey questions–that’s a new level of procrastination!
Great bit with Todd falling into the Atari spell.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:40 am
[...] has a new story up over at Every Day Fiction. It is [...]
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:50 am
Cute. Check the tense change in paragraph 3 sometime … or not. Same goes for the last line … unless something else comes up.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:58 am
Adorable! I have been known to be guilty of this from time to time.
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:50 am
I loved this! Not only does this totally soubd like me, but it’s great to see that a woman can get into this sort of thing, just as easily as a man. [Though we women tend to harp on men about it quite a lot.]
I also liked that Todd didn’t get mad at her for procrastinating and actually wanted to play her at Ms. Pac-Man. Hr’ll get quire a surprise when she beats him! I hope she gets to fufill her desire of becoming a housewife, heh heh.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 am
This was funny. Enjoyed it.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
I don’t know why, but this story made me wonder if anyone has proven a link between procrastination and depression.
Thought this one was pretty good. Even the flow managed to drift along at a torpid pace, perfect for the story.
–John
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:17 am
I enjoyed this, and still do it.
Nice story.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Very enjoyable.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
I think the strongest thing about this piece is your voice, particularly in lines like, “So that took a while.” Very funny. A topic many readers could relate to, too. A few questions: I was a bit unclear on the time/decade during which the story takes place. The TAB cola & Garfield jammies made me think early 80s, but the fact that they were grown-ups & it was found in the back of a closet made me think it took place later than that. Also, I played a lot of Pac-Man . . . but maybe not enough Ms. Pac-Man on Atari. Is it possible to achieve total victory?
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Really cute, Steph. Gave me a chuckle. I’d like to sign up to be a full-time pretend housewife. Too bad I got rid of my old Atari!
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Loved it. We’ve all had days like that. I call them “mental health” days.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:42 am
I spent the 1980s procrastinating with Atari and Commodore 64, though childhood procrastination isn’t as serious as the adult kind. What I liked about this piece was that the narrator and Todd both seem to be stuck in the past, which fits well with the procrastination theme. The old Atari, the Garfield pajamas, the Tab soda—these things give a clear sense of items from 25-30 years ago, but these are all items you could still be using today (they still have Tab at my grocery store, and I’m sure if someone isn’t selling a new “retro” pair of Garfield pajamas you could find a pair online).
I also like the description of the narrator as procrastinator. It goes from believable things like playing the game and washing dishes to absurd stuff like answering a 345-question phone survey. Nice touch that provides humor.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
[...] other news, writing group mate Stephanie had a story up at Every Day Fiction recently. Check it out here, if you have time. It’s a short read — light and [...]
November 5th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
[...] “8-Bit Procrastination” made the Top 10 stories of the last 30 days list at Every Day Fiction this week. So that’s exciting. [...]
November 8th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Great! May get around to reading it again – some day.
December 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I actually thought the ending was great except maybe you don’t need the very last sentence. I’d like it if it just ended on “I smiled and tossed the want ads aside.” Might just be me. Anyway, great story.