Comments on: BENEATH THE SHADE OF COCONUT TREES • by Rumjhum Biswas http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/ The once a day flash fiction magazine. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:14:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: rumjhum http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/comment-page-1/#comment-15567 rumjhum Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:31:35 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/#comment-15567 Thank you all, again! :) Errol - yes, I think I should have let a coconut drop on Jayanto's fat head - you got his character bang on! Edward, thanks for your detailed viewpoint. It's interesting for me to see where else this story could have gone. May be I'll do another situation where your take on it actually materializes. Stories never end. They just take different exits. At least that's how I see it. Thanks once more each and everyone. Writing for EDF and also EDP makes me feel that I am in a real room with real people; the whole thing is so alive; mine is not just another voice in the wilderness, and I'm sure the other writers feel the same! :) Thank you all, again! :)

Errol – yes, I think I should have let a coconut drop on Jayanto’s fat head – you got his character bang on!

Edward, thanks for your detailed viewpoint. It’s interesting for me to see where else this story could have gone. May be I’ll do another situation where your take on it actually materializes. Stories never end. They just take different exits. At least that’s how I see it.

Thanks once more each and everyone. Writing for EDF and also EDP makes me feel that I am in a real room with real people; the whole thing is so alive; mine is not just another voice in the wilderness, and I’m sure the other writers feel the same! :)

]]> By: Edward Caputo http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/comment-page-1/#comment-15564 Edward Caputo Fri, 12 Jun 2009 19:29:23 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/#comment-15564 I gave this four stars. I was swept up in it and found it very well written, but it left me unfulfilled. The reason? This was a story that made it clear we were witnessing something that had happened many times before, so why relate this time in particular? It seemed as I read, that the answer was because this time was going to be different. The tension is there: from Jayanto's suppressed anger to the references to both men's size and the description of Ratho's determination, it feels like something is about to give... but it doesn't. In the end, we get... more of the same which left it feeling more like a character sketch than a story. In short: I guess I wish the dread, bottled up anger and anticipation would've reached a climax. Instead, I feel like the story is still to be told (perhaps it happens on Ratho's next trip?), still great writing and great characters! I gave this four stars. I was swept up in it and found it very well written, but it left me unfulfilled. The reason? This was a story that made it clear we were witnessing something that had happened many times before, so why relate this time in particular? It seemed as I read, that the answer was because this time was going to be different. The tension is there: from Jayanto’s suppressed anger to the references to both men’s size and the description of Ratho’s determination, it feels like something is about to give… but it doesn’t. In the end, we get… more of the same which left it feeling more like a character sketch than a story.

In short: I guess I wish the dread, bottled up anger and anticipation would’ve reached a climax. Instead, I feel like the story is still to be told (perhaps it happens on Ratho’s next trip?), still great writing and great characters!

]]> By: Errol Nimbly http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/comment-page-1/#comment-15544 Errol Nimbly Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:05:16 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/#comment-15544 Thank you Rumjhum for that lovely little slice of India. Isn't a lying on a hammock strung between two coconut trees a bit risky? I was half expecting (and hoping for) a coconut to drop onto Jayanto's big fat head. :) Thank you Rumjhum for that lovely little slice of India. Isn’t a lying on a hammock strung between two coconut trees a bit risky? I was half expecting (and hoping for) a coconut to drop onto Jayanto’s big fat head. :)

]]> By: Sharon http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/comment-page-1/#comment-15540 Sharon Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:49:50 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/beneath-the-shade-of-coconut-trees-by-rumjhum-biswas/#comment-15540 Each character was real to me, as was the setting. Well done! Each character was real to me, as was the setting. Well done!

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