Gloria woke me in the night. “My waters have broken,” she said.
“Sit still,” I told her. “I’ll get some fresh sheets and something to clean you up with.”
“You’d better call an ambulance, we may not have much time.”
I patted her hand. “No need. I’ll deal with it.”
“No!” she screamed. “I need an ambulance, right now.”
“There’s no point, they won’t come. I’ll clean you up. You’ll be fine.”
“What about the baby?”
“Our baby is fine. She’s all grown up and has her own baby now. They came to see us last week, remember? You remember that?”
She stared for a moment, as though trying to translate my words into English. “My waters have broken.”
“Your waters break two or three times a week. Maybe more now. Remember? You remember, don’t you? Don’t worry. I’ll get you cleaned up.”
“For God’s sake, call an ambulance, somebody.”
“Gloria, please. Relax. There is no baby.”
She patted her tummy. “Then why am I so big?”
“Same reason as me, I guess. Life does that to you. Listen. I’m fetching a towel and some clean sheets, then I’ll take you into the bathroom to clean up, okay? Don’t I always clean you up? Don’t I?”
She frowned at me. I smiled back.
She said, “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I’m telling you that I love you, Gloria, and I don’t ever want you to forget that. Okay?” I grabbed her hand. “Please. Never forget that. ”
Bob Jacobs lives in the south-east of England with his wife and kids and Sony Vaio. In his spare time he likes to lie motionless on his back, whistling and staring at clouds.
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26 Responses to “BROKEN WATERS • by Bob Jacobs”
Comments
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November 26th, 2009 at 3:29 am
A moving story!
November 26th, 2009 at 4:17 am
Wonderfully moving piece. Nice work.
November 26th, 2009 at 4:49 am
Five from me. That’s how it’s done.
November 26th, 2009 at 5:30 am
A difficult subject that many would shy away from, Bob, but you have dealt with it admirably. Moving, human and beautifully written. Thank you.
Oscar
November 26th, 2009 at 6:07 am
That was really touching. Thank you, Bob.
November 26th, 2009 at 6:46 am
A disturbing story, that I think I would rather not have read. Much too personal.
November 26th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Wow – what a ride. Birth, time travel, something sinister, then to the truth of the story. I really liked this.
November 26th, 2009 at 8:13 am
This is certainly one of the most sensitively written stories I have read in a long while. Five from me. Thank you Bob!
November 26th, 2009 at 8:18 am
You did good.
November 26th, 2009 at 8:19 am
The writing is excellent and the story is very engaging. I could see where this piece would strike a nerve in those with similar life circumstances.
My mother’s Alzheimer’s comes to mind.
November 26th, 2009 at 9:42 am
This defines love. Thank you for writing this.
November 26th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Over in “Categories” I think EDF needs to have a “dementia/Alzheimer” listing for as many of these sorts of stories as they publish.
Sorry to be the cold fish. I’ve experienced it firsthand in my family and these little “Hallmark” flashes don’t do much for me.
–John
November 26th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Beautifully written!
November 26th, 2009 at 10:10 am
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November 26th, 2009 at 10:32 am
A well written but sad reminder
of heartbreak in the family.
I think # 12 is right about not publishing this.
I gave it a 5 nevertheless.
November 26th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Fiction sometimes strikes a nerve; can it truly be considered art if it doesn’t?
I’ve been through this with my mother and the last thing she would want me to do is hide from truth so beautifully rendered.
Superbly done, Mr. Jacobs. This is a marvelous love story.
November 26th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
A nice little scene. I wouldn’t call it a story, though. As soon as we figure out what’s happening (early), the tension drops to nothing and there’s no reason to read on beyond the nice prose and dialog.
I’m with #12. Too Hallmark for me, but nicely written!
November 26th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I love it! The last line is quite emotional. The story unravels at an even pace so there’s no ‘ha ha! Here’s the twist!’ moment. Good stuff.
November 26th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Fine story about the persistence of love in the face of a daunting challenge. Well done!
November 27th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Grateful thanks to everyone who voted or left comments. All feedback very much appreciated.
Cheers,
Bob
November 27th, 2009 at 8:27 am
This is so well done, Kudos! Props! Admiration!
November 27th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Tender, sad, achy. That’s quite an achievement in so few words. On ya Bob!
November 27th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Best love story I’ve read in years.
November 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Very touching. If we can be moved by the characters and their predicament, it’s a job well done.
November 28th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Complete flash, superb.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:04 am
Thanks again to everyone for their votes and kind words.
Cheers,
Bob