Comments on: DAVY’S TOY BOX • by Bill Ward

By: Flashing EDF’s 2009 ‘Best Of’ — Twice — Bill Ward

Flashing EDF’s 2009 ‘Best Of’ — Twice — Bill Ward — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:33:47 +0000

[...] it already, it won't hurt you. I swear it won't.Shameless brag time — two of my stories, Davy’s Toy Box and The Goon Eternal, have been selected by the brilliant and discerning connoisseurs of all things [...]

By: Travis King

Travis King — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:11:23 +0000

A bit derivative? Yes. But that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. And with an ending like that it’s quite satisfying.

By: Bill Ward

Bill Ward — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:23:35 +0000

Thanks for you comments, guys and gals — much appreciated.

By: Nik Hawkins

Nik Hawkins — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 19:50:47 +0000

Good stuff, Bill.

That Davy would target White rather than Dance made sense to me.

The use of “White” and “Dance” by themselves in the dialogue, rather than, for example, “said White” was a bit of a distraction for me, and I think the attempt at conciseness was lost because it makes the reader pause.

Very effective descriptions of the “world” through the child’s eyes.

The best thing about this story is, from line to line, I was wondering, “Oh man, what’s going to happen?”