He wasn’t just a liar and womanizer, but I thought when Rick learned, he might surprise me. He didn’t.
But I was a new convert to the religion of protection and preparation.
I arranged to meet him in the place we first did it, an abandoned Chinese restaurant space in not the greatest part of town.
“You were a jerk, you know, telling me you’d had a vasectomy.”
“Ah, I lied. So that’s what this big mysterious meeting is all about? Give me a break, Renee.”
“A break? Then what am I supposed to do now? How am I going to support a kid?”
“Get rid of it.”
“You’re still being a jerk, I see. And apparently you don’t know me very well. I would never do that.”
“Suit yourself.”
“I can’t believe you’re going to abandon me, like you don’t have the slightest investment or responsibility here.”
“Oh, don’t be so sensitive.”
“Sensitive? I’m too sensitive, am I?”
“Yeah.” He was looking away like he was thinking about where else he wanted to be. Tapping his foot, like he was wasting a bunch of precious time discussing a triviality, not his future son or daughter.
“You know, you could be a little more sensitive. Maybe I should give you sensitivity training.” I reached into my bag.
“Oh my God. Put that gun down.” Rick was looking for an easy way out, but it was fun seeing him get a taste of the fear I’d had when I learned he’d lied.
“By the way, I’ve decided to get rid of it.”
“Good. Now put the gun away.” He was already back to looking distracted.
“Not the baby.”
“What do you mean?”
“Turns out, you were almost right.”
“How?” He starts smiling at me, that confident smirk he gets when he thinks he owns the world.
“I decided just now. It’s too late for me, but not for you. Guess what? You’re getting that vasectomy.”
Patricia J. Hale has had stories published in Powder Burn Flash, Flashshot, Flash Pan Alley, MicroHorror, Fictional Musings and soon in Apollo’s Lyre. She writes because she can’t stop herself. Her husband can’t stop her either. For her latest work, see patriciahale.blogspot.com or reach her at patriciajhale@aol.com.
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15 Responses to “DOING IT WITH A GUN • by Patricia J. Hale”
Comments
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February 7th, 2008 at 2:08 am
“Guess what? You’re getting that vasectomy.”
I can’t imagine a scarier phrase.
February 7th, 2008 at 4:24 am
Don’t you just hate those smug smiles?
Great story!
February 7th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Happy Chinese New Year and it IS the year the Rat so highly appropriate story - if you live by the axioms that all men a finks, or that women don’t share in the responsalility not to get pregnant or that a vasectomies are fullproof…
Having said all that… I liked it. Well written.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:16 am
Thanks much Adam, Deven and Oonah!
February 7th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Patricia, I think you’ve ushered in a new fiction classification. Call it the Lorraine Bobbitt Genre of “Don’t get mad–get even.”
February 7th, 2008 at 5:51 am
Nice, tight writing, Patricia. Great pacing from start to finish. The dialogue told the story without being bogged down by unnecessary attributions and action tags. I really enjoyed this.
February 7th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Thanks Walt, may be some truth to that!
Really appreciate your comments, Greta. Jordan and Camille allowed for this dialog style, while advising ways to make it complete in short form. Thanks all.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:25 am
I really liked this. It made me laugh. Never cross a hormonally challeged woman! Makes my eyes water just imagining it and I don’t have the equipment! Do you think he got an anaesthetic? Nah - neither do I!!!
February 7th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Well written. LOL.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
We get a lot of these types of stories, but Patricia’s sparse style gave this piece a rhythm that made it stand out. Clean, sparse, and flowing, it was perfect for EDF.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Great comments Avis! Thanks DJ. Music to my eyes, Jordan.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:33 am
I don’t think anyone would feel any sympathy for him! Good last line. Dialogue style worked very well, and was very natural until she pulled the gun out, when I thought his comments were maybe a little too simple.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
[...] Doing It With a Gun [...]
June 1st, 2008 at 7:05 am
Congrats on being on the random-storyizer
I enjoyed this again 
July 1st, 2008 at 4:48 am
Thanks!