Of course I saw the stars last night. There’re over a billion of them. Scientists have counted them for centuries, logging them in some huge list that exists somewhere, a starlist, if that’s even a thing. It must be.
They wouldn’t keep counting them if they didn’t know what they’d already counted. Things would get messed up. Polaris would undoubtedly get counted twice somewhere along the line. So would the sun. Then again, I get the feeling that the sun is one of those stars that’s missed entirely when the starlist is updated. When the astronomers examine the starlist, they probably get that puzzled we’re-missing-something-fundamental-here look about them. That’s when the inconspicuous-until-now janitor saunters over, glances down at their starlist and mumbles, “Don’t forget the sun,” and the astronomers all slap their foreheads and smile.
The thing about astronomers is that they all have faces that in some way or another resemble Galileo, though they probably don’t realize it. They lean in toward the mirror each morning and think, “You look strikingly familiar. Do I know you?” Even the women astronomers have Galileoesque ears and hairlines. It’s an unspoken prerequisite at the University of Heavenly Bodies. Anyone resembling Ptolemy isn’t even considered for admittance. Stuff just works that way. I’m a mathematician and I look strikingly like Leonhard Euler. I can recognize that in myself. It’s very apparent when I look in the mirror.
Of course you never know you look like Leonhard Euler until some stodgy algebra professor comes up to you when you’re an undergraduate and says, “You know, you look just like Leonhard Euler.” Then you go home and look up a picture of Leonhard Euler on the internet and, sure enough, you look like him. Same forehead, same nose, same quirked-up lips. It’s disheartening. The guy doesn’t look good. I can imagine young women saying of an attractive man, “What a Casanova.” I cannot imagine them saying, “What a Leonhard Euler.”
But then you read on about this guy, and you see that he made contributions to things other than mathematics. He branched out, as they say. Optics, mechanics, and sure enough, astronomy. Maybe he invented the starlist. After learning more about him, however, about how he grew up and about how meticulous he was, and about how he published so many papers in his lifetime (really, it would take a lifetime just to read all of them, much less write them), it becomes pretty clear that he didn’t create the starlist. If he had created it, he wouldn’t have forgotten the sun. He’d have put it right at the top of the list. Guys like us don’t forget the sun.
John Woodington is a twenty-four-year-old writer from Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. His work has previously appeared in multiple publications, including The Moonwort Review and The Square Table. He holds a minor in Creative Writing from the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire.
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35 Responses to “DON’T FORGET THE SUN • by John Woodington”
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March 31st, 2008 at 12:48 am
Loved this. Good work!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:01 am
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March 31st, 2008 at 2:42 am
, they probably get that puzzled we’re-missing-something-fundamental-here look about them. That’s when the inconspicuous-until-now janitor saunters over, glances down at their starlist and mumbles, “Don’t forget the sun,”
LOL I loved the cosy tone of this. Really enjoyable
March 31st, 2008 at 4:43 am
I enjoyed this, BUT … It was not a STORY. It was more like a humorous essay, a “non-factual” essay. It reminds me of the old Stephen Leacock works (and a few others). Does “non-factual” equal “fiction”?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:20 am
“Anyone resembling Ptolemy isn’t even considered for admittance.” - That cracked me up.
Entertaining, but I agree it’s not really a story. Seems like it would be a great introductory character moment in a larger story.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:26 am
I agree with Alexander, it’s seems like an introduction and we want to know more. Will we?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:54 am
I’ll agree that it’s essay-esque, if there is such a word(there isn’t), but it was well done, and I enjoyed reading it.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:17 am
Oh, essy–schmesay! This was funny! Bravo, John!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:01 am
I agree it wasn’t a story, but it was interesting. Put this guy in a story
March 31st, 2008 at 8:02 am
You’re absolutely right, Jim. Camille basically said the same thing. I however, am one of those guys who don’t forget the sun, and thus, had to publish it
March 31st, 2008 at 8:12 am
Yeah, I have to agree with some of the above comments, this seems like an introduction. Now that we know this math-dude doesn’t forget the sun, we should hear the story that makes that fact matter.
But, the tone and rhythm kept me reading right along, and it’s very nicely written.
I like it.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:52 am
I don’t think “non-factual” equals “fiction” really. I would say fiction often holds more truth than non-fiction.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:49 am
Nice story. Very unique.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am
Nice John,
You wrote a little piece of literature and the people who need to analyze everything to sound smart in the comments section of a blog are having a hayday. They are forgetting the sun. As with all the others who read this and just enjoyed the read and were interested in a little more, i agree and it was fun.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
Lit is lit (writing with meaning)and the lines are always blurring. I mean, the first time I heard the words “Creative Non-fiction,” I went “Whuh?” And then we got a load of James Frey and all hell broke loose. I admit a story needs a story question, something that needs a resolution no matter how small, but isn’t the epiphany that there’s more to life than other people’s interpretations the resolution of a story problem?
Jordan, oh ye Don Quixote! Fight on, fight on.
And it WAS fun.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:01 am
Oh and anyone can learn from anyone?
March 31st, 2008 at 4:49 pm
OK, OK. I started this mess … but sometimes I simply can’t resist temptation. Here is “Don’t Forget the Sun - the Story.”
I can remember how proud we all were a year ago, when Mount Jackson College’s Astronomy Department was awarded custody of the Star-list. The Dean spoke, the Chancellor spoke, and some guy from the American Astronomy Association spoke. We knew we were destined for greatness. Now, a year later, we were sitting
around the conference table, bemoaning our fate.
“One damn little star!” said Janet–Dr. Janet Jopsin. The expression on her face was decidedly Galileoesque. I often wondered if here resemblance to the great man had influenced her choice of profession. “One tiny star, three milliseconds of arc west of Sirius.”
“Don’t forget the nova in the Big Dipper,” said Al–Doctor Albertson Alberts. He looked like he was going to say more, but stopped abruptly. A janitor who had wandered into our conference room banged had banged a push-broom into his ankle.
I turned to the janitor and said, “We’re having a meeting here. Can’t you clean somewhere else?”
“Nup. Allers clean this buildin’ on Tuesday.” He swapped his broom for a mop and began to slosh it around.
“The nova won’t help us,” said Janet. “Just about everyone in the northern hemisphere can see it with the naked eye.”
“So what,” I asked the group, “are we going to do to save our reputations?”
The janitor had moved in, and was staring over Al’s shoulder at the Star-list spread out on the table. “Shore is purty,” he said. “But oughtn’t the Sun be on there somewhere?”
March 31st, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Unique - Cool point of view! Keep writing -
March 31st, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I enjoyed these thoughts very much, John. They’re more an essay than story, but still, it made for good reading. I like the way you’ve gone from thought to thought carefully without forgetting or overlooking anything that might create a doubt in the mind of a reader, and yet wandering from looking at the stars to Euler and the sun. All the best in your writing, you’re good.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:37 pm
April 1st, 2008 at 3:04 am
I liked this. intropective, musing - not a lot of action. but i liked it alot.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:14 am
Great writing!! Fun to read. Thanks.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:38 am
And I do appreciate the publication very much. I really like how people can comment on a story here. The feedback is really interesting and intriguing.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:43 am
I don’t know if I’ll write from this narrator’s POV again. Usually once I write about someone and I think it’s completed, I’m not compelled to return to him/her in the future, but you never know. There are so many other people I’d like to write about. It would seem an unfair shame to give more time to a given character than I thought necessary, but if he/she proved interesting, I wouldn’t rule out a lengthier work characterizing them.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I thought this story was astonishing. LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEDDDDDDD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:51 am
Thanks, Medicine Woman.
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Yay John! I loved it!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
John, I think your story is well written and really smart! And of course it has the humorous edginess you’re famous for!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Amazing! I loved it!!!! Sounds like something one of my friends (or I) might write. Kudos!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Enjoyable
I liked this line
They lean in toward the mirror each morning and think, “You look strikingly familiar. Do I know you?”
That pretty much sums up most astronomers that I have met.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I really liked this story. Good job and the best of luck!!!
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:02 am
This was a very unique, but humorous piece of writing. I liked it! Keep on writing!
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Nice story! Great job of transitioning and pulling everything together at the end!
April 18th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
An ingenious and well-constructed humorous rant. I’m proud of you. By the way, I googled Leonhard Euler…yeah there’s a slight resemblence.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Thanks Jeff!