Detective Carmichael peered up at the roof of the Elegant Shoe Factory, where a naked figure sat with his legs dangling over the edge. In the blazing sun, Carmichael could barely make out the man’s pasty skin against the brown bricks.
“Too bad we can’t just shoot him,” he said to the nearest officer. It turned out to be Diggory, though, who had no sense of humor.
Diggory looked shocked. Carmichael sighed. “Go get me the megaphone. I’ll see if I can talk him down.”
The Elegant Shoe Factory was only three stories high — but that was tall enough for a fatal fall. The man on the roof tilted his face back and stared at the sun, which was almost precisely overhead in a cloudless blue sky.
Diggory returned with the department’s only megaphone. Carmichael said, “It’s the longest day of the year, right? The equinox?”
“Solstice, sir,” Diggory said.
“No wonder it’s hot.” Carmichael raised the megaphone to his mouth. “Hello there!” His voice boomed hollowly from the megaphone’s speaker. “You’re going to get sunburned. Why don’t you come on down?”
He lowered the megaphone to listen for a reply, and noticed Diggory regarding him with disapproval. Diggory probably thought he could do a better job talking to the man than Carmichael — which was probably true, Carmichael admitted.
The man on the roof shouted something that sounded suspiciously like, “Go to hell!”
Carmichael glanced at Diggory, who said, “Er, I think he said you should go to — er, purgatory.”
“I’m already there, Diggory.” Carmichael licked sweat from his upper lip and raised the megaphone again.
Before he could encourage the man to come down for a glass of cold lemonade, the man shouted something else.
Diggory translated again. “I think he said he’s about to hatch, sir.”
“Completely loco.” Carmichael realized he’d spoken into the megaphone only when he heard his own voice boom “completely loco” across the parking lot.
The other officers, and the ghoulish spectators held back by a lot of yellow “do not cross” tape, all pointed and exclaimed. For a moment Carmichael thought they were responding to his unprofessional comment. Then he noticed that the man on the roof had stood up.
Carmichael shaded his eyes with one hand. The man spread his arms wide, and Carmichael could swear they looked shaggy. As he watched, feathers sprouted from the man’s arms, his legs, his head and body. In less than a minute, he was covered in bright red plumage. It took only a few moments longer for his nose and mouth to elongate into a beak.
The man-bird leaped from the building, flapped his glossy new wings, and soared away — higher and higher, until he was scarcely a speck against the sun.
Carmichael lowered the megaphone. He watched the red speck until it vanished in the distance, and discovered he was smiling. It didn’t seem so hot out now. “Well, we don’t have to worry about him anymore, at least.”
Very quietly, Diggory said, “Shooting him would have caused less paperwork.”
K.C. Shaw’s stories have appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. Her first novel, Jack of All Trades, is now available through Ancient Tomes Press.
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21 Responses to “FALL OR FLY • by K.C. Shaw”
Comments
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November 24th, 2009 at 4:04 am
Five for this humourous piece of fantasy – not common in this genre!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Fun, free and a good read. Made me smile.
November 24th, 2009 at 6:37 am
That was excellent and funny. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certianly wasn’t that ending. A five from me!
November 24th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Wonderful, wonderful.Especially that last line! This one definitely gets five red feathers.
November 24th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Completely charmed me.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:42 am
A delightful story, a wonderful piece of fiction! The only problem is that it left me wanting to sprout red feathers and fly.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:43 am
This had me going all the way up to the end. The references to the heat, the solstice and Diggory’s lack of humor had me expecting an end tied to one of those things. The first two aren’t mentioned and, it turns out, Diggory DOES have a sense of humor. Or dry irony at the very least. Dunno. It had me chuckling all the way through, but the end took a dive, rather than soared, for me.
–John
November 24th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Wouldn’t you just love to read the paper work on that one???
November 24th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Interesting mix of genres–police procedural and speculative fiction. Wish the writing had been more vivid. In para. 4, for example, the bulding “…tall enough for a fatal fall” could have been termed “tall enough that when he fell he’d hit the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.” And “purgatory? These are cops, not choirboys. *3*
November 24th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Excellent piece K.C. Made me smile.
I want to remind everyone, also, that K.C. has a post today at Flash Fiction Chronicles. If enjoyed this,you’ll enjoy her discussion about dealing with editorial requests. http://www.everydayfiction.com/flashfictionblog/
November 24th, 2009 at 9:29 am
I enjoyed this immensely!
November 24th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Charming, Kate.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I love your characters. Lots of textures here too, that give the story a definite tactile bent to it. Bravo!
November 24th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I second the charming. Wonderful last line. *5*
November 24th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I loved the interplay between the cops. A good read and funny too. Loved it, a five from me.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I really got a feel for your characters. They were fleshed out well in such a short space. I also loved the last line, KC.
November 24th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Most enjoyable – loved the last line.
November 24th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
The title gave away too much. Other than that, I really liked the eeriness.
November 25th, 2009 at 12:31 am
I liked this one. The prose is a bit rough in spots, and I wss hoping for an explanation, or at least a stronger reaction from the characters. But I liked the characters and the idea a lot.
November 25th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
That story made me smile : )
November 27th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
What a great idea. I just love these types of pieces.