FLASH FICTION • by Joseph Freeman

New Orleans never looked so good or smelled so bad.  Fat Tuesday was never fatter. The beers were never bigger and I was drunk, and getting drunker.

The crowd was crushing, yet somehow I made my way to the Tippatina bar. There was a cute girl between me and the entrance to the bar. Dark and petite; I fell in love the moment I saw her.

“Here,” I said as I tossed her a bead necklace. One of a bunch I had bought from the kid down the street. So far every toss had been a success. I expected the usual response. I also hoped she would fall in love with me.

“Thanks,” she said, “but no thanks.” She tossed them back.

“Hey! I thought I was supposed to get a flash for the beads.”

She looked me up and down. I worked it. I smiled my biggest smile and said, “I’ll flash you.” With that I lifted my t-shirt to expose one nipple. Her expression clearly showed she had no interest.

“Honey,” she said, “you’re suffering from flash fiction!”


Joseph Freeman lives in Central Florida.


Posted on April 13, 2009 in Humour/Satire, Stories
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18 Responses to “FLASH FICTION • by Joseph Freeman”


  1. Paul A. Freeman Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 12:02 am

    Groan!

  2. Joshua Scribner Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Funny, in a corny way.

  3. Bob Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 4:49 am

    A great beginning, wasted on a pun that wasn’t funny in its own right, and wasn’t bad enough to be funny.

  4. Jim Hartley Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 4:50 am

    A truly horrible punch line, well deserving of a five!

  5. Roberta SchulbergGoro Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 5:52 am

    He really does it for pity – witness the bottom line. Jauntily well-written.

  6. Joyce Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 6:14 am

    Pitiful, to be sure.

  7. Mark Dalligan Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 6:16 am

    Comic drunk tale. I liked it.

    Cheers

    Mark

  8. Jen Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Heh heh, cute little story. I loved the description of New Orleans.

  9. Angela Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 9:42 am

    light, gave me a chuckle…great for a Monday!

  10. Sharon Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Having the title as the punch line flattened it, as I saw it coming too soon.

  11. JohnOBX Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree that

  12. JohnOBX Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree

  13. JohnOBX Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree that the title gives away the ending too soon.

  14. JohnOBX Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:31 am

    er…sorry for the bifurcated post.

  15. dj barber Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:53 am

    Too true to life, huh guys?

    –dj

  16. Joseph Freeman Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Sorry, but I had to do it. I loved your responses, especially dj. If I ever get to New Orleans, I know that’s how it will turn out. A groan is still a response. Thanks.

  17. J. Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    Loved it – especially the “I also hoped she would fall in love with me”.

  18. Pilgrimage Says:
    April 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am

    I loved it! It made me laugh.

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