New Orleans never looked so good or smelled so bad. Fat Tuesday was never fatter. The beers were never bigger and I was drunk, and getting drunker.
The crowd was crushing, yet somehow I made my way to the Tippatina bar. There was a cute girl between me and the entrance to the bar. Dark and petite; I fell in love the moment I saw her.
“Here,” I said as I tossed her a bead necklace. One of a bunch I had bought from the kid down the street. So far every toss had been a success. I expected the usual response. I also hoped she would fall in love with me.
“Thanks,” she said, “but no thanks.” She tossed them back.
“Hey! I thought I was supposed to get a flash for the beads.”
She looked me up and down. I worked it. I smiled my biggest smile and said, “I’ll flash you.” With that I lifted my t-shirt to expose one nipple. Her expression clearly showed she had no interest.
“Honey,” she said, “you’re suffering from flash fiction!”
Joseph Freeman lives in Central Florida.
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18 Responses to “FLASH FICTION • by Joseph Freeman”
Comments
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April 13th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Groan!
April 13th, 2009 at 4:21 am
Funny, in a corny way.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:49 am
A great beginning, wasted on a pun that wasn’t funny in its own right, and wasn’t bad enough to be funny.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:50 am
A truly horrible punch line, well deserving of a five!
April 13th, 2009 at 5:52 am
He really does it for pity – witness the bottom line. Jauntily well-written.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Pitiful, to be sure.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Comic drunk tale. I liked it.
Cheers
Mark
April 13th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Heh heh, cute little story. I loved the description of New Orleans.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:42 am
light, gave me a chuckle…great for a Monday!
April 13th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Having the title as the punch line flattened it, as I saw it coming too soon.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree that
April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree
April 13th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Heh. Just a little outside the strike zone, but it did make me groan a little, so that’s a good sign. Agree that the title gives away the ending too soon.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:31 am
er…sorry for the bifurcated post.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Too true to life, huh guys?
–dj
April 13th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Sorry, but I had to do it. I loved your responses, especially dj. If I ever get to New Orleans, I know that’s how it will turn out. A groan is still a response. Thanks.
April 13th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Loved it – especially the “I also hoped she would fall in love with me”.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I loved it! It made me laugh.