And no, I’m not talking about gossip.
Well, maybe I am if it’s a character in a story spreading gossip and thus dialogue is required.
One of the things I like about flash fiction is that dialogue has to be short and sweet. No room for pointless chatter. None. But even when you stick to only the vital dialogue that moves the story along while also giving the reader some idea of the character’s personality, you can still end up over that 1000 word limit.
So how can you keep the important dialogue in when you’re forced to cut words?
Simple.
Remove as many speaker attributions as you can. Those annoying “he said, she said” things get way overwitten. And besides, unless your character talks like a computer drone, most readers can figure out who is saying what by the dialogue alone–especially when you mix a little action in with the dialogue.
I’ll use an excerpt from my current novel-in-progress as a brief example. These three paragraphs occur immediately after Yavar and Shanak have a philosophical “debate” over the nature of revenge. Naturally, Yavar ends the debate in the manner she’s well known for:
“Enough!” Yavar reached for Shanak’s throat only to grasp air.
The god appeared behind her. Both his hands held her head. A burning energy poured out of Yavar and into him as she gasped. Her legs weakened then buckled under her. As she collapsed to the snowy ground, Shanak said, “If you insist on this road, then so be it. But you will not travel it as a god, but as a mortal. The divinity within you is now no more.” He called his staff back to his hand. “But as long as you wield Onarus, you remain a threat to us all. Unfortunately, you and the sword are bonded together.” He raised his staff for a strike. “Do not be troubled, mortal. You will soon meet your brother again.”
Yavar sneered. “That’s what you think.” She drew Onarus, spun, and ran Shanak through. The god’s eyes widened as a grunt escaped his throat. Energy poured back into Yavar, stronger and more potent than what she had stolen from Calahan. “Didn’t see that road, now did you?”
Note that quite a bit of action and dialogue both occur in just three paragraphs with a speaker attribution appearing only once. You can tell which dialogue is Shanak’s both by it all being in the same paragraph and simply by the preachy way he talks. Yavar’s dialogue is in the first and third paragraph, but even if it wasn’t, readers would be able to tell it was her simply by it being short and sweet and having the sharp vicious wit Yavar fans know and love. The main reason I have it broken into three paragraphs is for clarity’s sake. I could have broken it into further paragraphs, but doing so would cost the sense of immediacy I was looking for.
It is also possible that with a minor tweak, even the one “Shanak said” can get removed, but I’ll worry about that when I get to the novel’s editing phase.
So play with dialogue a little, with the focus on ways to use it without speaker attributions. And while you’re at it, have a little fun experimenting in ways to mix it around with action, too. Once you get it handled, it can be a lot of fun to play with.
Scott M. Sandridge learned how to write through hard work, trial-and-error, and the occasional writers’ workshops. His fiction has appeared in Mindflights, Ray Gun Revival, Silver Blade, Distant Passages, Volume I, The Best of Every Day Fiction 2008, and Chimeraworld #6: New World Disorder. His story, “Sleep Paralysis,” was a top ten finisher in the 2008 Preditors & Editors Readers Poll for the category of Short Story – Horror. He also writes reviews for Withersin, and is the Managing Editor of Fear and Trembling. More information can be found at http://smsand.wordpress.com.
