I remember the first time I met Phil.
I’d just finished up a document when an e-mail flashed up inviting me to room 0. Do Not Disturb was on the door and below it the letters M.O.I.. Phil opened the door as I approached. “Sorry I couldn’t catch up before. Busy. Efficiency Course. Come in.”
“M.O.I.?” I inquired.
“Manager of Interruptions.”
I’d never heard of that post before. I took in the impressive office at a glance. Metal blinds shut, white walls, diffuse lighting, swivel chair, desk facing wall-sized IPDU with multiple task tiles constantly blinking, telephone. The central tile was black except for an orange light that winked steadily on and off. A digital clock prominent on the opposite wall told the time everywhere in sequence. Phil moved like a pinball. I wasn’t going to be invited to sit for sure. A coffee was out of the question.
Phil perched on the edge of his desk. “So how are you settling in? Good? Good.”
I was about to ask what exactly it was he did but he was an uninterruptible stream of info.
“Hope you didn’t mind the interruption, Charles. My VFV told me you were available now.”
“VFV?”
“VastlyFastaVista,” he indicated the new generation monster screen. “Electronic PA? We monitor and assist with interruptions. It focuses the workforce.”
I thought Phil was an odd person to be studying focus. His body language was that of a disruptive teenager.
“There’s a policy doc.,” he said, “programmed to pop up when you’ve ten minutes. The A.I. unit will study your behaviour and decide when is goo..”
Phil’s constant partial attention snapped-to in response to a minute change on the PDU, “…d for you.”
He pressed a tile lower left of the screen and it blinked out, then lifted the telephone in response to another signal, shut me off with a raised palm and dialed an extension. “You requested an interruption, Sir.” He replaced the receiver. “The old fashioned way,” he grinned. “I prefer more high tech methods. He’s watching us now in fact.”
“Who?”
“VFV — the A.I. unit,” Phil tapped the orange eye. “We’re not machines, of course, and we need a break now and then.”
I couldn’t imagine Phil at rest.
My attention wandered as he outlined some of the scheduled interruptions on offer: one chess move per day, at-desk yoga, on-line fiction, various inspirational e-mails and musical interludes…
“VFV monitors Bio-Breaks, but there’s a trolley system you can request — saves leaving the office — getting tied up — and the coffee is awful so you’re not tempted to linger over it,” he said proudly. “This is an e-filter.” He tapped a tile. “I can hold all but the most important e-mails in a pool for you and deliver them — whenever. You set the priorities and time. And if you are being constantly interrupted by another staff member, VFV is linked to CCTV too.” He barely drew breath. “Did you know that after an interruption of just a few seconds, it takes 25 minutes to get back on task?”
I was about to say that I didn’t but VFV interrupted.
“This meeting is due to conclude now,” said a cold voice.
Today I remembered that first time I met Phil. There weren’t many mourners. He had no wife. No family. I expect he would have regarded them as an interruption. I don’t know why I was selected to attend the funeral. VFV must have informed somebody I was free. It gave us quite a turn — a phone ringing underground like that.
“He requested to be buried with his phone switched on,” explained the undertaker. “Had it fitted with a nuclear power-cell so the battery never fails.”
The headstone read, ‘Do Not Disturb’, and the VFV was programmed to interrupt him at least once a day.
Now that’s what I call focus.
Oonah V Joslin lives in Northumberland, England. Winner of Micro Horror Prizes 2007 and 2008. Most read in EDF, Jan 2008. Guest judge in the Shine Journal 2008 Poetry Competition. Bewildering Stories Quarterly 4 2007 and 1 and 2 in 2008. She has had work published in Bewildering Stories, Twisted Tongue, Static Movement, 13 Human Souls, Back Hand Stories and The Pygmygiant, Lit Bits, The Linnet’s Wings, The Ranfurly Review and Boston Literary Magazine. The list is growing every month which pleases her immensely! Oonah is also Managing Editor of Every Day Poets. You can link to work, follow up-dates and contact Oonah at http://www.writewords.org.uk/oonah/ or http://www.oonahs.blogspot.com. She thanks all of you who take the time to read and comment.
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33 Responses to “FOCUS • by Oonah V Joslin”
Comments
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March 27th, 2009 at 12:29 am
-beep- This is K.C.’s electronic personal assistant. She’s tied up at the moment; can’t leave a comment for this sly story. But she programmed me to tell you that it was droll. -beep-
March 27th, 2009 at 12:34 am
A great story, Oonah.
What a world you’ve created. It left me breathless. Wouldn’t want to work for that lot.
Loved the fact that his phone will keep on ringing throughout eternity.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:49 am
This piece was too fast and furious to keep track of what it was supposed to be about, especially with all the jargon.
I assume it was supposed to be a clever character sketch, but didn’t come across as such.
Perhaps if I worked with people like this, I’d appreciate it more.
March 27th, 2009 at 1:20 am
Great story, Oonah – gave me a good laugh. What a crazy world, indeed.
March 27th, 2009 at 2:48 am
This is genius, Oonah. Loved it.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:43 am
Oonah, a greatly focussed story indeed.Loved it
As Jennifer said, loved the fact that the phone would keep on ringign till eternity.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:50 am
This story is funny and scary at the same time – and that puts it in the category of “truly remarkable stories!” Loved it Oonah!
March 27th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Great stuff, Oonah. “The headstone read, ‘Do Not Disturb’”…I love it!
March 27th, 2009 at 5:49 am
That last line was genius.
March 27th, 2009 at 5:49 am
You received the following praise at 12:49
Fab flash Oonah, you rock
Transmission ends
March 27th, 2009 at 5:57 am
VFV (in a cold voice): Attention readers of EDF, your non-fiction scheduled interruption is now over. RETURN TO YOUR WORK!
March 27th, 2009 at 6:10 am
This was a very disturbing story. I didn’t expect to feel pity for Phil and his programmed life, but I did at the end. very well written.
March 27th, 2009 at 6:26 am
The way some people are where I have worked, this picture may not really be a vision of the distant future! I agree with the others though. This was very disturbing, but the end is what clinches it. Poor Phil. True to form unto the very end. Extremely well written. Enjoyed it tremendously.
March 27th, 2009 at 6:52 am
It all starts when you put that ridiculous looking bluetooth in your head and then the Borg-like transformation is underway.
Good story, well told, actually more enjoyable on the 2nd pass when you have a better sense of things.
My only minor pics were these: The characters were on a first name basis, even though Phil was a manager at whatever office they worked at. It gave a personal sort of feel toward the relationship where there really was none. Phil is all about business and having him addressed as Mr. Tiddlesworth or whatever his last name might be would have enhanced that.
The other thing that might have been clarified was the passage of time between the first meeting of Phil and his demise. Possibly could even do without that first line, launch straight into the story.
Anyway, I enjoyed it.
March 27th, 2009 at 7:06 am
‘Phil moved like a pinball’ – loved that. Well-constructed story with a great end. You got it wrapped!
March 27th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Thank you all for those entertaining interuptions
March 27th, 2009 at 7:32 am
Poor Phil! How will he check his voice mail?
Good one, Oonah!
March 27th, 2009 at 7:34 am
That was really amusing and, at the same time, somewhat disturbing. I had to read it a couple of times to take in all of the sterile, futuristic tone.
I agree with John’s comment about the characters being on a first name basis…that would imply a familiarity and lead to idle chit-chat. Also, instead of Phil’s office having “metal blinds shut” it could be a “windowless office”. Wouldn’t want him peeking out now and then.
Those are just small things, though, I really enjoyed the story, Oona.
March 27th, 2009 at 7:53 am
thanks for the interruption oonah
March 27th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Cute story. My laugh for the day.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Ha ha… This is great. Glad I didn’t miss it. Nearly did though – on account of being so busy yesterday, I didn’t switch on my e-mail. In case I interrupted myself…
March 27th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Really strong story, hitting some high spots. Humour and pathos rolled into a sly prediction of the future. Let’s all stop this now, before it’s too late.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Thank you for all your comments. I did consider not having first names but sometimes with me, the character’s name is what pulls me into the writing and I’m afraid he was Phil from the start. I could see him and I reckoned he was the type that told everybody ‘Call me Phil and then he’d call them Thompson or Holland… You’re never actually on first name teerms with this type – your on HIS TERMS or none. I know the type… I used to call my boss by her first name…It didn’t meran we were friends!
March 27th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Great bit of fun, Oonah.
I agree with the first name basis–many companies foister this as a way of making people feel they are part of the “Team”–but too often business relationships remain sterile first name or not.
March 27th, 2009 at 11:00 am
That’s exactly it, dj. Thanks for commenting.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Great story edging on realsim.
Cheers
Mark
March 27th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Even the pace was frenetically Phil. I liked the whole phony first-name thing–it added that touch of forced humanness where none is required or even desired. Great work, Oonah!
March 27th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Thanks Mark and Sharon for you kind comments.
March 27th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
A probing investigation of contemporary stark realities of underworld power; a glimpse behind the scenes of sinister interruptions which I have learned from this story plagues others beside myself. I even wondered whether EDF was itself a subtle attempt to undermine determined attention to one’s own work. (I love EDF, but being naive, wondered if I placed my trust among scheming tempters.) It is good to know, brothers and sisters, that you are staunchly standing up against corrupting evil.
JohnOBX – Phil is about having fun at the expense of others, Oonah is about business.
March 28th, 2009 at 3:01 am
“Oonah is about business.” That’s a unique perspective, Roberta. I didn’t think I’d ever see the words Oonah and business in the same sentence. Thank you for reading.
March 28th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Oonah- The word “busy” means keeping productively active. The word “business” refers to the integral system or institution (including money or not) of busy-ness, or the habitual actions of persons at a productive activity.
March 29th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
A good one, Oonah–reminiscent of Terry Gilliam’s great film _Brazil_ in its portrayal of workers as closely-monitored cogs in the bureaucratic machine.
February 5th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
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