Comments on: “I LOVE YOU” • by Grant Bergland http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/ The once a day flash fiction magazine. Sat, 20 Mar 2010 07:07:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Shelley http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/comment-page-1/#comment-16088 Shelley Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:32:30 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/#comment-16088 The contrast was great. Finding out they were two females was a surprise. You've got some good creativity here, keep going. The contrast was great. Finding out they were two females was a surprise. You’ve got some good creativity here, keep going.

]]> By: Sharon http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/comment-page-1/#comment-16065 Sharon Mon, 06 Jul 2009 05:13:36 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/#comment-16065 Scratching my head...this was a female? I liked it better before that revelation; now I don't know what to think. Scratching my head…this was a female? I liked it better before that revelation; now I don’t know what to think.

]]> By: Rob http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/comment-page-1/#comment-16064 Rob Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:55:56 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/#comment-16064 'I've never seen you before-- I don't know you-- I haven't said a word to you-- (Sigh) I love you down to the deepest fiber of my soul--' Sorry-- does not compute for me. I think you had a very interesting idea here and I believe-- from the example of your work-- you have the imagination to pull it off. Sorry though, it still needed more work to pump some life into it and make it believeable. ‘I’ve never seen you before– I don’t know you– I haven’t said a word to you– (Sigh) I love you down to the deepest fiber of my soul–’

Sorry– does not compute for me.

I think you had a very interesting idea here and I believe– from the example of your work– you have the imagination to pull it off. Sorry though, it still needed more work to pump some life into it and make it believeable.

]]> By: Cathryn http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/comment-page-1/#comment-16062 Cathryn Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:14:27 +0000 http://www.everydayfiction.com/i-love-you-by-grant-bergland/#comment-16062 I think it works. It evokes an emotion, and in a short work, that's often enough. Although the stream of consciousness was somewhat long, it was coherent and worked well with the rest of the piece. I think it works. It evokes an emotion, and in a short work, that’s often enough. Although the stream of consciousness was somewhat long, it was coherent and worked well with the rest of the piece.

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