He popped out of the fireplace to the usual scene. Christmas tree in the corner, nearly lighting up the room with its inane twinklings. Stockings hung by the chimney. With care, of course. And a little table bearing a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. There was a note underneath the plate.
He glanced about. No baby Jesus in a manger. No three wise men. Nothing like that. Not even a cross hanging on a wall. So, not a Christian home. Or at least not of practicing Christians. Fine with him.
He chuckled with mirth, his belly shaking like a bowel full of jelly, and slipped the note from beneath the plate.
“Dear Santa,” it read, “I hope you like these chocolate chip cookies and milk. Please leave me lots of goodies. But not my brother Scott. He was being a brat today and should be put on your naughty list. Love, Randy Newcracker.”
He chuckled again. These cute little mortal children. They thought they knew everything about him. Oh, he kept a list of who was naughty and nice, but not quite for the reasons they believed. And what use had he of milk and cookies?
He was returning the note to the table when he spotted the postscript at the bottom of the little letter. “P.S. Sorry I didn’t leave no carrots for Rudolph. We were out and mom didn’t make it to the store.”
Rudolph. He always found it fascinating they believed he traveled around the world on flying reindeer. What good were flying reindeer? One might make a decent meal, he supposed. And what was he to do with the reindeer while he floated his way down the chimney? Leave the dirty beasts on the roof to raise all kinds of clatter?
He dropped the note and slowly spun around, taking in the room again. He sniffed at the air, the scent of the children coming to him.
“That way,” he said, pointing down a hallway.
His booted feet quickly followed the direction of his finger.
It was the second door on his left. It stood partially open. Without a sound, he eased the door open further and stared in.
Two boys, one probably nearing ten and the other little more than a babe, lay motionless in separate beds.
The man in the red suit crept into the chamber. “Visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads, no doubt.” He chuckled to himself again. Keeping a sense of humor was important when you were more than a thousand years old. It kept you sane.
He approached the nearest bed, the one bearing the older child, a little boy with hair the color of summer grain. Not that the man in the red suit had witnessed summer grain in a long time. He lived too far north, where it was dark for half the year.
Smiling, he smoothed down his white beard and curled back his lips to reveal a pair of sharp fangs. Then he leaned over the child’s throat.
Ty Johnston has been writing short fiction for more than twenty years. When not busy writing or reading, he enjoys spending time with his wife, their beagle and three house rabbits. Find out more at tyjohnston.blogspot.com.
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25 Responses to “MILK AND COOKIES • by Ty Johnston”
Comments
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December 24th, 2009 at 2:21 am
Santa’s gonna’ get you for that!
December 24th, 2009 at 2:33 am
OK, you gave me a big chuckle. Very predictable (sorry!), but still, thanks for the chuckle. Three stars and good job!!!
December 24th, 2009 at 2:39 am
Ah! That’s naughty and nice. Don’t want to get any blood on that nice, white beard…
December 24th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Oh my god
A vampire story.
We’re into 2010 in a few days.
Vampires………Really
Get a grip
This is the Techno space age
There was a hint about Alien spaceman when the children were referred to as “MORTAL”
This coulda been a much better tale with just a bit more effort.
3 *** barely
December 24th, 2009 at 4:20 am
Ewww…some traditions and fairy tales from childhood are still sacred in my book and this is one of them. There will be enough relatives visiting today and tomorrow who will have no problem showing their fangs–leave Santa out of the mix. 2 cookies from me…
December 24th, 2009 at 5:26 am
Sweet. A nice little snack for the Jolly Old Elf.
Maybe he’s a Jolly Old Dark Elf.
December 24th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Beat milk and cookies
December 24th, 2009 at 6:19 am
The Evil Santa concept is a bit predictable, but I still think this story is deliciously wicked. I always knew you couldn’t trust a fat guy in red velvet.
Good job! Thanks for the chuckles!
December 24th, 2009 at 6:58 am
haha, nice – so that’s how he stays so young, I’ve always wondered lol
December 24th, 2009 at 7:32 am
The ending was a wee bit “meh” for me; being alone and awake in someone’s house while they all sleep completely vulnerable nearby has a ton of possibilities.
BUT
Some really really clever stuff inside that made me smile,
“his belly shaking like a bowel full of jelly” played with my “is that a typo?” sense .. but really works, setting up that this isn’t a good Santa.
“Leave the dirty beasts on the roof to raise all kinds of clatter?” That was just a nice “wink” without being intrusive.
Nicely done.
December 24th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Well written, but I’m with vondrakker and Chris on this one. Lots of possibilities, but you went with the dominant pop-culture meme? Blah.
December 24th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Great! Loved it! Five cookies!
December 24th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Liked it, Ty! Enough holiday cheer already.
December 24th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Ho, ho ho – what a surprising twist!
December 24th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Humbug.
December 24th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Funny, I was relieved that he was a vampire, not a Great Old One because Lovecraftian Xmas has been done to death. No pun intended.
Great story. I love the note from the kid.
One picky edit/question – did you mean to say “bowel” full of jelly instead of “bowl”? It comes across as an error and is a little distracting.
December 24th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Cute. Kind of reminded me of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, though.
December 24th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I’m of the Jim Croce mindset… you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t pull off the Lone Ranger’s mask, and you don’t mess with Santa Clause. That’s got to be bad mojo.
It felt a little cliche’ considering the proliferation of literary vampires these days.
Now, make Saint Nick a Fuller Brush man with Tourettes and four thumbs,and you might be one to something!
December 24th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Ok, so it was an old theme (vampire) … but very well written. It kept me till the end even though I had predicted it. You can’t do much better than that and since this is a writing site, 5 Stars!
December 24th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Ugh. An Evil Santa story for Christmas Eve? Really?
Didn’t like this one at all.
December 24th, 2009 at 10:18 am
My “one to something” is about as distracting as “bowel full of jelly.”
December 24th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I liked this bloody twist on a holiday myth.
December 25th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Predictable, but witty and well-written.
December 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
great twist – I enjoyed it.
February 1st, 2010 at 12:49 pm
i enjoyed the easy read. i would have liked to have some shadowing of fangs on santa with a few dropped hints and links in previous text.