There’s a monster in the attic.
I cried out because I was frightened. Its big feet were going, thump, thump, thump on my bedroom ceiling. I hid under the covers. I didn’t want it to hurt me.
There’s a monster in the attic.
I told Daddy about it. He gave me a cuddle and told me I’d been dreaming. He went to have a look but it wasn’t there, but I know it is because I heard it.
There’s a monster in the attic.
I want to tell Mummy but she isn’t here. Daddy said she has gone and won’t be coming back. I cried then because my Mummy always makes everything alright and she gives me big hugs and tells me nice fairy stories where the monsters are told to go away and not come back. I miss my Mummy and I want to telephone her, but Daddy says she hasn’t got a phone anymore. She was so sad before she left. She cried a lot and Daddy was always shouting at her.
There’s a monster in the attic.
I tried to tell Auntie Josie about the monster. She’s come to live in our house. Daddy says she is going to stay with us for ever and ever. She lets me have baked beans instead of all those nasty vegetables that Mummy used to make me eat. Yuck, I hate carrots and broccoli. Auntie Josie laughs a lot and gives Daddy lots of cuddles and kisses him on the lips. She never cuddles me, but I suppose its okay because she still doesn’t make me eat my greens.
There’s a monster in the attic.
My big brother, David, said he’s going to kill the monster when he’s eight. It’s his birthday next week and when Daddy asked him what he wanted, he said a sword. Daddy wasn’t too sure about that and said he would have to think about it. David said if he got a sword he was going to climb up in the attic and kill the monster and then Daddy would be very proud of him. Daddy heard him telling me and told David he wasn’t to go up into the attic. Just to make sure, he took the big ladder away so David can’t climb in and face the monster. Daddy seemed very cross. I don’t know why.
There’s a monster in the attic.
I want my Mummy; she would make the monster go away. Auntie Josie smacked me today, it hurt real bad. She told me not to talk about monsters anymore and if I did she would find one to frighten me at night. I don’t like her anymore.
There’s a monster in the attic.
Daddy was in the attic today. There was a funny smell and he went to find out what it was. He said that the monster had died and he was going to find a big box to put it in and then take it away. He’s going to do it tonight when I’m asleep, just in case I get frightened.
The monster’s gone now, just like my Mummy.
niddy has been writing for five years and improving day by day, and loves finding flashes of inspiration from everyday life.
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16 Responses to “MONSTER IN THE ATTIC • by niddy”
Comments
« ALL OF MY HEART • by Tels Merrick | Home | November’s Table of Contents »
October 30th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Brr! Brilliant pre-Hallowe’en story, Niddy. You led us to the ending very neatly. Five stars from me!
October 30th, 2008 at 3:05 am
nicely done, Niddy.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:29 am
I thought that was great.
October 30th, 2008 at 6:03 am
Ooh, very creepy and suspenseful. I’d guessed that the father had killed the mother before I got to the end but I still really loved the flow of the story and the way you set things up.
October 30th, 2008 at 6:19 am
Very nice. Creepy and sad, the perfect combination.
October 30th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Hi there niddy,
A lovely story, although that hardly feels like the right thing to say. You lead up to the denouement very effectively, confirming the suspicions that you have planted in the reader’s mind throughout. Nicely written and very enjoyable
all best wishes
dave
October 30th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Truly horrible story.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Fabulous, Niddy.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
An excellent story, well constructed and kept me reading. Ideal for this time of year.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Oh… such a sad story! Poor little kid!
October 31st, 2008 at 2:23 am
Sensitively treated. I wouldn’t call this a horrible story. I thought it was rather poignent. Well done, Niddy.
October 31st, 2008 at 6:18 am
Very disturbing.
November 1st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Eewww-eeer! Fabulous story to get us in the right mood for All Hallow’s Eve (I’m posting this the day after, but then I like to celebrate Hallowe’en year ’round).
November 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Great one.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Made me shiver.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:48 am
I like the construction of this story very much; the boy’s obsession with the monster heightened by the repetition of the line, “There’s a monster in the attic.”
Just think who might have been saved with more self-reliance on the part of the child!