I probably won’t write back to you, but please send an email now and then to let me know how you’re doing.
He read that sentence again and again, trying to make more of it than it was. Or lessen its sting.
It was all too familiar. It was their story. He’d written it that way.
He knew that stories never end. He knew that despite that, characters fall away.
Their story didn’t include much of the two of them together. Like stars divided by black space, their story was about them being apart.
As children, she shared classrooms with him, silently wishing him into the future. He ignored her as best he could. Their kindred intellect was both personally obvious, and public record, but he didn’t consider their similarities. He wanted people to love him, and she wanted people to leave her alone. She frightened him, not caring what her label might be.
Even then he knew he loved her.
When he went away to school, he did not think about her. And two years later, when his friend Ryan introduced her as his girlfriend, he did not recognize her. She hid behind her hair, but that’s not why.
They finished their last year of school together, once again sharing classrooms. They shared time away from school, too. She’d fallen in with his friends. She was one of them. He couldn’t escape her if he’d wanted to. And he didn’t.
He had been stripped of his labels at the military school that ate his past. He returned with the fiery need to be himself.
She loved him for that. More than she’d ever loved him before. But she’d loved him all along.
There is a moment that lives forever between them: She’d come and told him goodbye. They spent an hour not talking about the love that beat between them, drinking cold things and meeting each other’s eyes. He walked her to her car.
The air, the willow, the sidewalk, her heart and soul told him, Kiss her. Kiss her you fool. It will make all the difference in the world. It will bind you to her forever. It will make your life just right.
She waited.
She looked into him.
He couldn’t. He worried what she’d do.
The air chided him in lazy, warm currents as she drove away–holding a place for that kiss still.
It is a moment that broke worlds apart. A moment he hopes to find on the other side of time.
It taught him that destiny comes with difficulty. Especially once she told him she’d known it, too. That she’d waited for that kiss. That she understood its importance–whether it came to life or remained the eternal question between them.
She went to college in the Southeast. A very good school.
He moved to the Pacific Northwest to work for his dad.
They talked about their love when they were safely away from each other. When miles of earth and sky replaced the space between their eyes.
Blissfully, they loved each other from afar–dismissing their insurmountable differences. Ignoring the blatant fact of their diverging paths.
He told her in long, heart-wrenching letters how he’d loved her always. He damned the year they’d spent as friends–her all mixed up with Ryan, he with the wrong person, too.
He swore his love for her would outlast the stars. He admitted that the poems were all hers. That she was the muse, and the goddess, the temple, the wildflower, heart-stopper–the absolute. He told her everything.
She called him, and told him she’d smoked pot, and that he wasn’t such a bad boy for doing it all those years, and that she could forgive him his wild ways. She said that college was opening her up to a lot of what he’d subtly tried to before. He told her that he missed her. She missed him, too.
There is a song that is years long laid out between them–languid or hurried phone calls, letters stashed in boxes, burned in rituals, buried in secret places. It is plaintive, and seductive, and it hurts his chest when he listens to it sung.
She called him, and she told him she’d met someone.
He read her letters with fists. He scrawled his loss in terrified words–some which still haunt him, some which still haunt her.
He wrote to her after it was no longer too painful, across years and states. He told her things about what he missed. About what he was doing. About why.
And sometimes she wrote back.
He would read about how different from each other they’d become and thrill at what they could be together. He’d lament, and spend the day throwing rocks into the quietest pools of water he could find. He thought of the moonstone she’d given him.
Many times at night, when he began to dream, he thought of what they would make together, knowing they never would.
And the stars stretched out.
They wore lines in his face, and wove his path around the wilderness.
They took her to the places she’d longed to see, and put her exactly where she needed to be.
The stars rearranged themselves, and each of them found their ways.
He let the fire of their love come to a point. He let it burn itself down into a diamond in his heart, and he stopped his longing.
She quelled hers, too.
And after their spiraling paths had put them very near each other, neither of them dared to see one another.
He wrote to her, finally, after learning her new last name. He told her what was becoming of his life, about his kids, and his lovely wife. She wrote back many similar things.
And she said, I probably won’t write back to you, but please send an email now and then to let me know how you’re doing.
The stars shone on.
Now and then Kevin Shamel is inspired by some romantic bit of real life. He hopes that stories like this are familiar to people. They feel that way to him.
GD Star Rating
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27 Responses to “OUTLAST THE STARS • by Kevin Shamel”
Comments
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October 8th, 2008 at 12:17 am
“She called him, and she told him she’d met someone.”
That’s where my tears started; what a lovely story! Five.
K.C.
October 8th, 2008 at 1:03 am
Wonderful, Kev, the rhythms exactly matched the everlasting theme of the piece. You wove this like a tapestry, all the details standing out:
“There is a song that is years long laid out between them–languid or hurried phone calls, letters stashed in boxes, burned in rituals, buried in secret places. It is plaintive, and seductive, and it hurts his chest when he listens to it sung.
She called him, and she told him she’d met someone.”
Great work. Five stars from me.
October 8th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Well written but not exactly exciting or original. This sort of “story” frustrates me because there’s this wonderful use of language being used to describe the same old thing everyone else has been banging on about for the past million years – two people claiming to love each other but choosing to fetishize the relationship rather than committing to it. Loving the idea of being in love rather than getting together and BEING in love. Annoying, I tell you.
I am a robot, though, so your Earth emotions do not compute. But, as I said, well written.
October 8th, 2008 at 4:23 am
Some lovely, lyrical writing.
October 8th, 2008 at 4:59 am
When miles of earth and sky replaced the space between their eyes. Bloody hell, Kev, one of the best stories I’ve read on EDF. How sensitive and beautifully written. I have now read this four times. Ignore the robot that is called Gerard! This piece really blew me away… carry on writing. You are really GOOD! I would have given it a ten if there’d been an option. WOW.
October 8th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Well told. I really enjoyed reading your work.
October 8th, 2008 at 7:03 am
There are no new stories in the world, just each person’s unique way to tell them. Kevin, you are unique and are blessed with a lyrical way with words. I especially felt the power of the story in the lines:
“He had been stripped of his labels at the military school that ate his past. He returned with the fiery need to be himself.”
This group of words represents human emotion and universal truth of this story and why many choose to settle for the memories of lost love rather than giving up their inner being to be with the object of that love. 5 stars from me.
October 8th, 2008 at 7:29 am
That was lovely. It was happy and sad all at once.
October 8th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Beautiful, moving just real.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Oh, Kevin! I loved this story. You have this talent of making flash stories feel epic. I thought it was because of your world building in the speculative stories, but this one blew me away, as well. Even though there were know scenes, the flow of the writing worked well as the flow of the relationship. It was poignant and lovely, and I could feel the realness in it. It made me think of a relationship someone I know had in real life, so the story hit home on that level, as well. Really well done!
October 8th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Or… how about “no scenes”?!
Sorry… all I can say is that I’ve given up caffinated soda, so my brain gets mushy in the morning.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Thank you, everyone. I’m happy you’re enjoying this story. It’s actually very nearly true (as old as it may be). And it’s very much about me.
Thanks for receiving this story so well. I love when people have favorite lines!
It’s a happy morning and I haven’t even had coffee yet.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:18 am
[...] not related to NaNo, I have to say, if you haven’t read “Outlast the Stars” over at Every Day Fiction today, you should. It’s [...]
October 8th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Amazing how much can be said in so few words!
October 8th, 2008 at 8:25 am
This was beautiful – both hopeful and heartbreaking at the same time. Kevin, I hope you’re going to submit to EveryDayPoetry – this piece, at its core, is pure poetry. Nicely done.
October 8th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Kevin god damn you…you even managed to touch this iron old heart of mine, it’s all so true and all so beautiful.
My favourite passage was everything from “He read that sentence again and again” to “The stars shone on.”
Big ol number 5 for you old chap.
And dont worry Gerard…one day..something will love you too, and you will understand
October 8th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Loved it, Kevin. Makes me think of all those hearts beating out there for someone who was never theirs, but somehow, was.
I will offer one nitpick: I wasn’t sure about the tense shift mid-story. I suspect you were attempting to capture a sense of how this love crosses barriers of time, but it just wasn’t a perfect fit for me.
Tense shift or not, I gave it a 5.
October 8th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Thank you to everyone who commented. I’m truly happy you liked the story and truly happy that you took the time to tell me.
Thanks for reading!
October 9th, 2008 at 6:07 am
Oof. Man, this hits a little close. Excellent work.
October 9th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Bravo! And yes it is quite autobiographical isn’t it. I’ve shared it with several people, you truly have a gift my friend.
October 9th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I loved it!
October 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Thanks, everyone! Happy you liked it.
Thanks for passing it around, Bry.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Now I am a blubbering mess! This one is heavy on the heart but at the same time makes me happy to have had those intense and sad moments in my life. These are the moments that form who we are! Well done! Thanks for the puffy red eyes and runny nose.
October 12th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Welcome, Sam. Thank YOU!
October 16th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Beautiful. Haunting.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:04 am
I found the story touching, the descriptions beautiful and the wording perfectly spoken. An absolute example of the bigger decisions that help define us.
March 30th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Beautifully written story of decisions, feelings, and actions probably shared by many people. His thought that “she wanted people to leave her alone” is probably the influencing factor behind their separation and it’s sad because such a feeling is usually momentary whereas the feeling of wanting the regard of many people around one usually returns to stabilize. However, life goes on for both. The finely written portrayal of emotions and events involves the reader in the developments of the story. I hope, since they have mutual friends (“She’d fallen in with his friends,” ) they won’t make the worse mistake of denying eachothers’ acquaintance, that they’ll introduce their families to eachother, and renew friendship,not “fall away” from eachother and others.