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My fiance just delivered the news — he told my future inlaws I’d bring a homemade dessert to our very first dinner together that evening.
“We’re going in two hours!” I cried when he called to confess. “And I have nothing to make.”
“Sweetie, I know you can do it. I told them you’re a whiz in the kitchen.” Talk about an overstatement. I could cook a passable veggie lasagna and had moderate success with casseroles. But a whiz? The man must really love me.
“I told them you’re getting me to eat more healthfully,” he went on. “They were very impressed.”
So not only did I have to make something fabulous, it had to be nutritious, too. I quickly got off the phone and powered on my computer.
I surfed the Internet and settled on a recipe for individual berry parfaits. Then I thrust my feet into flipflops and grabbed my purse. I was on my way out when my cat, Jeffrey, started howling. Right. I needed to replenish his food supply or he wouldn’t allow me back in the house.
On the way to the store, I reflected on my choice. A berry parfait was the ideal mix of sophistication and nutrition. And it was easy enough to be foolproof. This was just the thing to quell my future inlaws’ fears that I wasn’t at all right for their son.
At the market, I threw my ingredients into my cart. Then I remembered Jeffrey and tossed a carton of dry cat food onto the pile.
Back home I noticed I had only thirty minutes before I was due to pick Rick up at the office. I quickly washed the berries as Jeffrey wove in and out of my legs. I tore open his new box of Tuna Crunchies and fed him. I shoved the carton under the sink and ignored the cat’s continued meows — I had no time for his finicky ways.
I found four crystal glasses and began creating my masterpieces, using the kitchen counter as my work space. Alternating layers of yogurt, fruit, and light whipped cream. As a final touch, a scoop of granola on top.
With no time to put any of the ingredients away, I carefully arranged the glasses in a shallow cardboard box and ran upstairs to get ready.
We were having a lovely time at dinner when Rick came down with one of his migraines. We begged off dessert, telling his parents to enjoy our share as well, and I drove him home.
Despite feeling badly for Rick, I was ecstatic. Larry and Shirley had exclaimed over the elegance of the dessert when I brought it in, and conversation had flowed easily from there. I was certain I’d won over my inlaws and my future happiness was now assured.
I walked into my kitchen to find the granola box lying on its side, pieces of cereal strewn across the counter, and Jeffrey happily gulping down bite after bite.
Then I realized my error. It wasn’t granola the cat was inhaling.
It was Tuna Crunchies.
Carol Ayer is a freelance writer living in Northern California. Her publication credits include “Woman’s World,” “The Prairie Times,” “The Christian Science Monitor,” and three “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books.
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17 Responses to “PARFAIT SURPRISE • by Carol Ayer”
Comments
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January 26th, 2009 at 12:33 am
The protagonist was very fortunate in her future in-laws, who must have had refined tastes or much tact. To many – perhaps most – males, something that looks that elaborate would be offputting, and both yogurt and muesli variants are things only eaten to please others. Likewise, healthy fresh fruit is acceptable rather than tempting. She would have been safer using tinned fruit turbocharged with liqueur (so sweet and mushy), an ice cream base rather than yogurt, and biscuit pieces rather than fortified cardboard as a topping.
Then again, she only had to reach her mother-in-law to be.
January 26th, 2009 at 3:15 am
PML – your dessert sounds ace!
The ending wasn’t exactly a shock but I liked the writing and pace.
January 26th, 2009 at 3:46 am
I’m in real trouble here, Carol. Our three cats overheard me reading your story and now they refuse to eat anything on offer unless I promise they can finish off with your desert. HELP!
As Gerard has said, no surprises. But a fun story, nicely written.
BTW, it would be interesting to know if the in-laws-to-be noted any improvement in their hair condition and mousing ability.
January 26th, 2009 at 3:47 am
inhaling?
January 26th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Sweet little piece.
January 26th, 2009 at 6:18 am
Love that cat!
January 26th, 2009 at 6:25 am
There are few authors who can give away the ending of a story early on and still create a delightful and interesting situation. I knew almost from the beginning what was going to happen, but I think this story will carry the readers back to an era when we crept up on grandma and goosed her while she was stirring in the punch bowl. Great story, Carol. Now go out and do it again.
January 26th, 2009 at 7:24 am
That was delightful. Just the thing to begin a new day with. Thanks for sharing.
January 26th, 2009 at 7:44 am
That was hilarious! Sounds like something that could’ve happened in real life, what whith our lives being so hectic these days.
January 26th, 2009 at 7:59 am
I love this story.
I think the writing is very good, and the reader definitely wants to see how this all ends.
It is easy to empathize with the protaganist.
Good Job!
January 26th, 2009 at 8:20 am
She couldn’t have done better if she planned it. Next time he’ll pick up a bottle of wine on his way home.
The in-laws are unusally polite, most people not sticking something in their mouths they don’t want, so I guess, since she herself is so willing to oblige, it’s the right family for her.
January 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Great voice and flow.
The cat was the only one not trying to be polite or impress anyone–and probably happier for it.
–dj
January 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I echo the comments about good pacing and style, though the first-person POV makes it harder to show rather than tell, and I wanted to “hear” more stress from the narrator, and some reaction at the end, post-discovery.
The see-it-coming-a mile-away plot, IMO, didn’t fulfill its end of the bargain.
Solid effort, with verisimilitude that makes it feel like fact, not fiction, just not a stunner.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Nice voice, nice pacing, well written. The plot? A little too familiar.
January 26th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I loved the story, and I am sure many variants have actually happened. I know my mother accidentally used clorox bleach in salad dressing instead of vinegar. Thankfully, no one ate the salad. Your writing is fun and real. Great work!
January 26th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
The idea itself is not all that bad, but the way it is written gave the story away too early and too obviously. Well written, but too predictable.
February 7th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
You didn’t need the last line. Otherwise, although I knew where it was going, I enjoyed the trip.