Comments on: PREPARING FOR SHALU’S WEDDING • by Rumjhum Biswas

By: February’s Table of Contents | Every Day Fiction

February’s Table of Contents | Every Day Fiction — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 04:00:54 +0000

[...] Preparing for Shalu’s Wedding [...]

By: Jordan Lapp

Jordan Lapp — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:12:09 +0000

I thought the initial AIDS reference was a little blunt. I agreed with Jason that it was far better to leave it to the imagination, but it looks like I’ve been outvoted!

Any blame for the mysteriousness of the ailement can be laid at my door

By: rumjhum

rumjhum — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:08:48 +0000

Actually, in India, it’s pretty clear. It’s a social problem with truckers and such like. So I guess, people get to it pretty quickly, here. Perhaps, I’ve been too hasty in giving a context to the story. The story was best left alone. But, thanks all, for your comments/opinion.

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 07:37:13 +0000

I also did not directly get the AIDS link, but what I did get, and liked, was the sense of ‘fill-in-the-blank-with-the-many-options-of-what-it-could-be’ – without identifying it there is the raised sense of dangerous information, such as nefarious deeds done in connection with criminal activity by the brother or others for multiple reasons – survival, advancement, favor, sexual abuse, barter . . . there are all sorts of options here.

I’m not saying it’s the greatest flash piece ever, but the simple fact for me is, the story has so much more power simply because it leaves it up to me to decide what the terrible secret is – and I thought of some nasties that I sure hoped it wasn’t – AIDS is, quite honestly, a let-down, as it’s no where near the magnitude of what I’d thought of.

By: Hasmita

Hasmita — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 06:35:10 +0000

Me, too, GMoney, I didn’t get the AIDS bit at all. I was left lost wondering what his secrets were. I knew I had to find what I could in the line about furtive encounters but I simply couldn’t get it. I do think a little hint added would make it a more fulfilling read. Otherwise, good writing and loved the tension and emotions portrayed here.

By: GMoney

GMoney — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 12:44:13 +0000

I liked the story, but I have to say that personally I didn’t get the AIDS link, so was a bit confused at what the secret was. Not sure if you were just a little too subtle, or whether it was just me! Now I’ve read your comment, and have read the story again it makes it a lot better, thanks.

By: rumjhum

rumjhum — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:59:28 +0000

Yes. AIDS is scary. Truck/other long distance drivers in India are specially vulnerable to this disease.

The chap under the veil could be any male – Vir’s friend/a groom he knows has AIDS/Vir himself? In the first version, I had let the cat out of the bag. But thanks to Jordon’s timely suggestion, the published story is better finished.

Maybe there’s a novel/novella here, may be not. I started out writing this as a flash fiction, because the idea was to leave a lot unsaid, and thoughts circling in eaders’ minds. Hope I have achieved that. But I don’t want to rule out any possibilities. So thank you to those who see a bigger work here. Maybe this will grow someday. Options are always open.

This story means a little more to me because it addresses a real social issue. Thank you for being with me – my garrulousness, .

By: Jason

Jason — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:50:05 +0000

Scary! Nice build up of anticipation, priming me to look for further to read.

By: rumjhum

rumjhum — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:21:26 +0000

Hey! Thank you all for your feedback.
What I love about Everyday Fiction is this instantaneous response/comments and the good advice/comments by the editors – Jordan and Camille. Thank you!

By: DJ Barber

DJ Barber — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 16:17:25 +0000

Wonderful!!