“So,” Annie said as she slipped documents from her in-basket into file folders on her desk, “are you gonna come over Saturday night and meet Jim’s brother? He’s just back from Iraq, and he’s gonna move in with us as soon as he gets his discharge. Just until he gets settled.”
Sheila wasn’t paying much attention.
“Don’t look now, but that dreamy new executive intern just walked through the door,” Sheila whispered, leaning toward Annie’s desk.
Annie’s head bobbed up from her work. She adjusted her glasses. “Who? Where?”
“Shhh. The new intern I told you about. The one who I rode up in the elevator with this morning? Who said we should get together for coffee or something?”
“Huh.” Annie turned back to the papers on her desk. “That arrogant SOB? He’s supposed to be dumb, too. Only reason he got the job was because his mother is Mr. Pauling’s sister. You know how these executive types take care of their own.”
Sheila sighed and gazed dreamily toward the door. “You got to admit he’s awfully cute. And he was nice enough to me.”
“Yeah, he’s cute all right. Got smug bastard written all over him. And he was probably nice to you ‘cause he thought you were a customer or something.”
Stung, Sheila brushed her coiffed glossy black hair with her slender manicured fingers. “I told him I worked here.”
“In the clerical pool?” Annie raised her eyebrows. “He probably thought you were an intern like him. Or a lawyer. Or at least an executive secretary.”
Sheila tidied the papers on her desk and glanced up.
“Look,” she whispered. “He’s got Mr. Pauling with him. And they’re coming this way! Is my makeup okay?”
Annie peered over her glasses in amusement. “And what are you going to do if I say no, you got a big smear of mascara running down your cheek? Of course your makeup’s okay. Your makeup’s always okay.”
“Let me talk to them if they come over here.” Nervously, Sheila smoothed her tidy grey skirt.
Annie shook her head. “Forget it. He’s never gonna ask you out. Why don’t you just face the fact that none of these executive types are usually looking for a wife? Especially at work?”
Sheila had no answer.
Mr. Pauling and the new intern stopped nearby. The intern had a stack of papers in his hand. Sheila fixed a welcoming smile on her face and stood up. “May I help you?” she asked.
The older man pursed his lips and looked right through her. But the younger one turned toward her.
“That’s confidential material, Bradley,” Mr. Pauling said. “Take care of it yourself. I’ll meet you in the conference room when you’re done.”
“But Uncle Lenard…”
“Don’t call me that at work. And be quick about it; we have people waiting.” Mr. Pauling turned and strode away.
Bradley watched him go. He walked right past Sheila toward the row of office machines against the wall.
Disappointed, Sheila sat down at her desk but watched him out of the corner of her eye.
He was staring at the newly-purchased, just-delivered, guaranteed-to-permanently-obliterate-any-document-in-existence paper shredder with a puzzled look on his face.
Surprising how complicated a shredder could look to operate.
“I’m gonna go see if I can help him,” Sheila whispered to Annie.
Annie didn’t look up from her work. “Whatever floats your boat.”
Sheila checked to make sure her low-cut blouse still covered enough to be business appropriate. She picked her way through the clerical pool’s cluster of desks over to where Bradley stood by the shredder.
Once again fixing the smile on her face, she said, “Do you need help?”
Bradley looked at her, relief evident on his face.
“How does this work?” he asked.
“First you have to turn it on.” Sheila reached around the side and flipped the switch. “Then you feed your document through that opening.”
Bradley — she was pleased to know his first name — looked uncertainly at it. He glanced around.
“Could you do it for me?” he asked.
Smiling, Sheila took the papers. “You watch to make sure your uncle doesn’t see me,” she said, warming to the conspiracy.
Bradley stepped a few feet back into the center of the room, facing the door.
Sheila fed the stack of papers into the machine’s gaping maw. The wicked blades surrounding it sprang to life. Tiny bits of paper and dust filled the air. The papers were gone.
Sheila tried to think of something bright and amusing to say. “All done!” was all she came up with.
Bradley returned and looked at the shredder with great intensity.
“Where do the copies come out?” he asked.
Saturday night at Annie’s place was looking better. Maybe Sheila should take her up on it.
KM Rockwood is a fan of Every Day Fiction who reads all the stories and sometimes feels compelled to submit a story. Work has appeared in Nautilus Engine, Flash Scribe and Thema, in addition to once previously in Every Day Fiction.
Did you like this story?
A new and interesting story is posted every day.
A new and interesting story is posted every day.
Subscribe to the RSS Feed! (what is rss)
Don’t miss another story! Subscribe to Every Day Fiction via RSS.- Share on Facebook
Rate this story
27 Responses to “SHREDDED • by KM Rockwood”
Comments
« MANDALA: A DISH OF LIME-VANILLA ICE • by Ellie Tupper | Home | BREAKFAST • by James Hartley »
September 7th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Not new.
September 7th, 2009 at 2:56 am
It’s an old joke, but nicely recycled into FF.
September 7th, 2009 at 3:29 am
Nicely told.
And since I’ve been living in a cave, er, I haven’t heard that one before.
September 7th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Great ending. It was new to me. Put a smile on my face before I’m off to work. Thanks!
September 7th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Loved it. I’ll bet Bradley is next into the shredder!
September 7th, 2009 at 6:37 am
This was funny and really caught me off guard at the end. Loved this one!
September 7th, 2009 at 7:05 am
Saw it coming, but it was still pretty cute.
September 7th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Oh! That’s funny! Sounds like something I’d have done. I can be an awful air head at times!
September 7th, 2009 at 8:22 am
I feel kind of bad for Bradley, I probably wouldn’t've realizied it was the shredder eithier. Cute story though!
September 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
This was fun. It might be an old joke, but I didn’t know it.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Thanks for the smile.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:54 am
well written and fun.
September 7th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Loved your story. I just hope you haven’t got something started that will get all of us in trouble.
September 7th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I was surprised – I was expecting her blouse to fall open or something. So, the unexpected made me laugh.
September 7th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I saw it coming, but it was still a fun story, good setup and description with a feeling of reality. Very appropriate for labor day!
September 7th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I thought it was clever. Very real people. And funny, too. Good story!
September 7th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
And next did he put white-out on the computer screen? Send the same fax three dozen times?
Sorry, this one just didn’t do much for me. Converting a joke into a short story is a tall order.
–John
September 7th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Knew that was coming too!!! A light read. Enjoyable.
September 7th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
This reverses the sterotypical “dumb blonde” quips and shows up the man, which is a different and engaging twist.
September 7th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Brilliant! What an amazing story!
This one belongs in the next anthology!!!
September 9th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Well told, with a clever twist at the end.
I like it
September 10th, 2009 at 1:46 am
For me, the two women were warm and alive, not easy to achieve in a flash. Thanks.
September 10th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Who says we can’t take old jokes and make stories of them? We’re writers, not cardboard box assemblers. I’d never heard it, in any case. This story’s ending actually caught me by surprised me. Good, solid characters. My compliments.
September 11th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Very funny– clever reversals on many levels. Perhaps if Bradley hadn’t been so quick to have the woman do it for him, he’d have learned it was a shredder before it was too late!!
September 12th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Light, down-to-earth characters and believable situation, might change the title so the ending would pack more punch. To anyone in an office, ending rang true — we’ve all done that or something similar!
September 15th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Thanks to everyone who read and commented on this story. It was a fun one to write; I hope most people enjoyed reading it.
I think it’s particularly clever that the advertisement for the paper shredder has appeared with this story! Clever.
September 19th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Really enjoyed the story! Loved the role reversals! Thanks for giving us all some laughs!