The funeral is open casket.
Or open aquarium, I should say; they used a fifty-gallon aquarium to hold him.
A lot of it is not him–evaporation and all. With mathematical calculations (based on how tall and round he’d been), they’d estimated how much tap water to add.
There, next to the aquatic coffin, on the satin pillow beneath the wreath: a button, two chunks of coal, and there–forgive me, I’m getting choked up–there is his good ol’ corncob pipe.
My tears are mixing with his remains.
Well, you know, someday every man must lose his magic hat.
Nicholas Ozment teaches English at Winona State University. He regularly publishes in the SF small press.
Did you like this story?
A new and interesting story is posted every day.
A new and interesting story is posted every day.
Subscribe to the RSS Feed! (what is rss)
Don’t miss another story! Subscribe to Every Day Fiction via RSS.- Share on Facebook
Rate this story
13 Responses to ““SPRING FUNERAL”: AN AFTER-XMAS SPECIAL • by Nicholas Ozment”
Comments
« MINOTAUR • by David Dunwoody | Home | January’s Table of Contents »
December 30th, 2007 at 4:23 am
Aww, I liked this story. Although for one awful moment I thought it was going to be a porpoise or a dolphin, but I bravely kept reading and then I smiled.
December 30th, 2007 at 6:55 am
Aw!
December 30th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Nothing sadder than the death of a snowman. Nicely done. I loved it
December 30th, 2007 at 7:44 am
He’ll be baaacckk!!
December 30th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Well written, where every word counts. So timely! I really enjoyed this story.
December 30th, 2007 at 8:54 am
Aw, that’s cute! Poor Frosty.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Good good morning story…because dj says above: He’ll be baaacckk!!
December 30th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Were the tears mixed with the remains tears of sorrow or laughter?
January 1st, 2008 at 3:30 am
I echo – poor Frosty! Made me laugh so it did!
January 1st, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Pure genius! You still got it man!
January 1st, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Thank you for the kind words, everybody. Friends of the deceased are asking that, rather than send flowers or gifts, you simply make a small donation to your favorite charity.
Oh, and hi Joe!
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 pm
[...] “Spring Funeral”: An After-XMas Special [...]
January 8th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Liked it, liked it a lot!