They came at night.
We heard the first scream, in the distance, just before we went upstairs for the night. I dismissed it as a cat, but it immediately spooked Susan. That said, she’s easily spooked.
We heard the second scream more clearly, through the bedroom window, which I had opened to ‘prove’ that there was nothing to worry about. It was no more than two streets away. I didn’t call the police, there didn’t seem to be any point. Someone else, someone closer, would be able to help them more than I could. I closed the window.
Not ready for sleep, I picked up a paperback. But I couldn’t focus and I soon gave up on reading. I was about to try to settle down when Susan suddenly sat bolt upright, eyes wide.
“That’s weird,” she said, “‘#screams’ is trending…”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“On Twitter. They’re using the hashtag ‘#screams’ — look,” she showed me her iPad, “there’s dozens of them. All over the place, people are hearing screams in the darkness…”
“Like, now?” I asked.
“Yeah, they keep coming. They’re everywhere…”
She turned to me.
“Switch the radio on,” she pleaded.
I switched the radio on.
Static. Across the entire dial, no-one was broadcasting. I found the TV remote, but every channel was blank. I grabbed some clothes from a chair and got quickly dressed.
Suddenly, our son was in the doorway, eyes bleary from sleep.
“There’s people making noise outside,” he complained.
Sam’s bedroom was at the back of the house. As I stepped through the door I could hear multiple voices screaming, and close, maybe only on the other side of the houses behind ours.
I rushed back to find Sam sitting in our bed, Susan’s arms wrapped around him, terror in both their eyes.
“You’d better keep him in here,” I said, but even as the words left my lips I could hear more screams at the front of the house and I knew that soon we would be surrounded.
“It really is everywhere,” whispered Susan. “There were hundreds of tweets by the time the wifi went down.”
“The wifi’s down?”
“Just now, while you were in Sam’s room. There’s no phone either. I tried to call Dad but the land line’s dead and I can’t get mobile reception.”
We were cut off. I went downstairs.
We seemed to be safe in the house, for now, but the screams were getting louder and closer all the time. We were going to be surrounded, and soon, but surrounded by what? Would it… they… attack? We needed a way out.
By now, Susan was at the top of the stairs, with Sam clinging to her leg, whimpering and petrified.
“I’m going out, to see if I can see anything,” I said.
“Don’t you dare. What if it’s gangs, or terrorists? What if they have guns?”
“Can you hear any guns?” I asked, “Can you hear any shouting? There’s only screams, like… That’s not the sound of people being attacked.”
I had only just thought of this. It seemed comforting.
“I don’t know. There’s so many of them!”
“Exactly. Who could attack so many people at the same time?”
It made sense, and I was warming to this line, but I didn’t believe it. Something was out there; something was making those screams.
“Exactly,” she repeated, “it could be terrorists.”
I opened the door.
I didn’t feel so brave stood on the doorstep. Instantly the screams were louder, and they seemed even closer than they did through double-glazed windows.
“Who’s out there?” I called out, my voice weak and wavering.
I got no reply. It was eerie, an aural backdrop of shrill, rasping noise. In the pitch black night, hypnotised by the wall of white noise, I stood still.
“Who’s there?” I called again, “What do you want? What can I do?”
One voice rose above the screams. “Leave us,” he cried, urgency in his voice, “leave us, stay back! We are lost…”
I stepped backwards into the house and slammed the door, certain in that instant that he had saved my life.
Susan stood alone at the top of the stairs.
“What did you see?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Nothing, no-one. It’s too dark. Where’s Sam?”
“He’s in his room, hiding. What’s out there..?”
“Nothing,” I insisted.
I started to climb the stairs. I stopped half way up.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, looking concerned.
“I thought I heard something.”
It came again, a brushing and dull thumping at the front door. And, weakly, a voice.
“Help me, please help me…” it rasped. I recognised it at once.
“It’s him!” I exclaimed.
“Who?”
“Out there!” I tried to explain, “he told me to stay back. Saved me. I have to let him in.”
“No you don’t! Who is he? You can’t just…”
I was already back at the front door.
“It’ll be okay,” I promised, no idea if it was true. “I have to help him. Go into Sam’s room and close the door.”
My hand was on the door handle. She looked at me, pleading, and then turned and left.
I opened the door. There was no-one there. I stepped out again, but still there was no-one, just the darkness and the screams, closer than ever. A window smashed at the back of the house, and suddenly the screams were inside. The front door slammed shut behind me.
My heart pounded. I could feel my blood coursing through my body, suddenly hot, the arteries aching with hunger. My senses were swamped by a rising tide of viscera; sweet and tangy, I could taste the flesh on the night air. I opened my mouth wide and screamed with desire. I was lost.
Phil Oddy lives near Cambridge, England, and would like to describe himself as a writer.
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25 Responses to “THE DARK • by Phil Oddy”
Comments
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June 15th, 2011 at 12:24 am
Spooky, or what?
This piece is very atmospheric – gripping even.
A couple of things brought me out of the story, though.
I felt the ending needed to be kept mysterious and open-ended, perhaps by removing ‘with desire’.
Also there were a couple of instances of repetition that came across as odd or as lax editing:
“Switch the radio on,” she pleaded.
I switched the radio on.
and
“…the wifi went down.”
“The wifi’s down?”
But when all’s said and done, a this story’s a goosebumpy ride!
June 15th, 2011 at 1:11 am
Yes, atmospheric is a good description. I was enthralled for the most part. There were some places that could have used another look, though, and that pulled me out of the story.
Very, very creepy. Four, verging on five, stars.
June 15th, 2011 at 1:44 am
For me, the less explicit, the more horrific and this piece underlines that maxim very well. The most effective horror is that which the reader generates for himself. The pace was good, slowly building up the apprehension. I agree, I’d have missed out ‘with desire’ at the end, but this was a good read. Congratulations Mr Oddy (from nearby Peterborough
)
June 15th, 2011 at 2:16 am
[...] the flash fiction “The Dark” by Phil Oddy at Every Day [...]
June 15th, 2011 at 2:20 am
Once again I find myself in agreement with fishlovesca.. “Very, very creepy. Four, verging on five, stars.”
June 15th, 2011 at 3:24 am
[...] Read it here: http://www.everydayfiction.com/the-dark-by-phil-oddy/ [...]
June 15th, 2011 at 3:47 am
I liked this story a lot. It was creepy and mysterious. I agree that I could do without ‘with desire’ at the end.
June 15th, 2011 at 4:24 am
Chilling. Liked it a lot. Silly man shouldn’t have gone outside. Hasn’t he ever read horror before…
June 15th, 2011 at 5:07 am
Very creepy! Great story. I liked the ‘with desire’ at the end. It rounds out the story for me. Love the pacing as well.
June 15th, 2011 at 5:11 am
“With desire” at the end is perfect! It explains the entire premise of the story, IMO. Loved, loved, loved this creepy/cool tale!
June 15th, 2011 at 5:16 am
Why? Why do people insist on finding what’s out there? Whatever happened to hiding under covers?
Still, I guess it wouldn’t be much of a story if no one did anything.
I liked the MC (what was his name?) and I didn’t want to see him lost. Hopefully Sam and Susan survived the night.
Wonder who the first victim was? How did it all start?
Great story, loved the mystery and suspense.
June 15th, 2011 at 5:22 am
Nicely done — a pretty realistic depiction of a surreal situation. I like how the cause of all the screams is never totally revealed; I’m in total agreement with Sandra (#3) about the best horror is that which the reader has to imagine.
But I was somewhat disappointed that the man opened the door, sending his wife and son away, especially for something as thin as ‘to save’ the person/being with voice that had told him to go back inside. I’d have been hunkered down with my family, armed however I could be, and staying to protect them to the very end.
So while the ending was just a little shaky for me, this was generally some effective story-telling — a frightening tale of screams in the night.
June 15th, 2011 at 6:33 am
Horror 101: Don’t go in the woods; don’t go down into the dark basement; don’t open the front door.
What’s wrong with people? That’s why there is always so much screaming — the idiots out there don’t get the 101 basics.
Jeesh!
Four screaming (and yes, I know it’s gratuitous) stars.
June 15th, 2011 at 6:37 am
I enjoyed this one on multiple levels. Part of me really wishes I could find out what the heck was going on with all the screaming, but the other part worries that the answer might not be as fun as the suspense, so I’m good with that.
A couple of people mentioned repetition in the story but (for once) I didn’t have an issue with it. The wifi example struck me as a realistic conversation taking place during a stressful moment. Here in Ottawa we had a rare, somewhat powerful earthquake about a year ago and the conversations people were having while events unfolded were very similar. As a result, the repetition–for me–enhances the realism of the dialogue during a frightening and confusing situation.
I’m not sure why, but for some reason I came away from this with the impression that the MC was somehow compelled to go outside, in spite of his better judgment. I can’t point to anything specific in the story that leads me to this conclusion, but the feeling was strong enough that it survived a careful re-read. For that reason, the “screamed with desire” at the end makes a lot of sense to me and fits well with the rest of the story.
Very spooky read and very enjoyable. A rare five stars from me and I look forward to reading more from this author, who should be very proud of this story!
June 15th, 2011 at 6:43 am
Well done! Loved the incorporation of the twitter messages.
Five screaming stars from me.
June 15th, 2011 at 7:02 am
Well done. Some tightening of the dialog (as mentioned above) would help. And there is a minor word(s)omission (I think) in this line: “I didn’t feel so brave stood on the doorstep.”
Enjoyed reading the story. Nice work.
June 15th, 2011 at 7:13 am
Len, #16, ‘…stood on the doorstep.” is a Brit thing, I believe. My cousins say the weirdest things in the strangest ways.
June 15th, 2011 at 7:30 am
Nice creepy zombie story.
June 15th, 2011 at 7:30 am
This story gripped me from the start and held me the whole way through. I SO didn’t want the narrator to go outside, but I knew he had to. I like that we never find out what was really out there, ready to break in. I like that it begins in such an ordinary way. They hear a scream in the distance and think it’s a cat. I recall living where cats made lots of eerie sounds outside at night. It became easy to ignore but still a little unsettling. This is a mighty fine story.
June 15th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Nicely done – terrific momentum and suspense in this story!
June 15th, 2011 at 9:02 am
I was really glad the ending didn’t turn out to be some lame twist like “everyone was screaming because the internet had gradually stopped working.” Takes guts to write horror in the age of sparkly vampires.
Agree with the other comments about dropping “with desire.”
June 15th, 2011 at 9:19 am
I was also gripped from the start, my favorite kind of chill — enticing the imagination. I also loved the trending on Twitter. I also liked that it was his sympathy that made him open the door the second time.
The screamed with desire tied the story together for me and gave it a twist. I’m not sure “I was lost” is necessary, but definitely four+ screams.
June 15th, 2011 at 10:55 am
I’m going to have nightmares again tonight. *shudders*
June 15th, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Good one!
June 22nd, 2011 at 10:23 am
The suspense was great. Sometimes men think they have to protect loved ones and they do dumb things.
I thought the story was headed in a new direction when I pictured a mother and son cylops with this line: I rushed back to find Sam sitting in our bed, Susan’s arms wrapped around him, terror in both their eyes.