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When Hettar’s emmissaries brought their master’s demands of surrender to Oludai Tower, the senior mages had offered Sarai an opportunity to leave with the children. She had bristled at being lumped with the untested students and proudly proclaimed her intention to stand by her colleagues in defense of their order’s sacred trust.
The siege concluded, Sarai now wondered whether she had spoken as much in hubris as allegiance. Not that repentance did much good, for Hettar had made escape impossible. Nothing to do but watch one after another mage be summoned to answer Hettar’s demands.
Now it was her turn to walk down that path, lined with the impaled corpses of her colleagues. They had died rather than relinquish what they guarded, the instrument the Old Tongue named the Key to Power. How would she fare when faced with the same choice?
As she approached the sable tent, her stomach churned with nausea. Only her rigorous training gave her the control to walk through the entrance the guards held open for her.
Within, Hettar lounged upon silken cushions. “Welcome, Sarai, last mage of Oludai Tower.”
Fear gave way to anger at hearing the memory of her colleagues mocked. “Because you murdered the others.”
Hettar sat up and drew his jeweled sword. “They died because they were fools who tried to resist me. I trust you will choose more wisely.”
By every speck of Sarai’s self-control she kept her gaze level and voice firm. “We have told you from the beginning, we cannot simply hand — ”
He gave her no time to explain about the years of training, the winnowing process which selected only those few students with all the necessary qualities. “Prate, prate, prate. If you will not aid me, I will raze this tower stone by stone until the Key to Power is mine.”
“You are mad.”
“No, merely practical.” Hettar’s tone was so matter-of-fact as to be frightening.
To break the oath she had taken at the completion of her training was a grave matter. But compared to the disaster unleashed by demolishing the Tower…
Only how to ensure this trespass harmed no innocents? A desperate plan formed in her mind. “I may be able to show you a different way.”
Hettar’s eyes narrowed. “No tricks, girl.”
All the way back to the tower, the empty eyes of her slain colleagues stared in silent reproach. Even as she led Hettar down to the hidden chamber, she wondered whether she had given in to hubris yet again.
At the entrance Sarai paused. “Here only those who work the Key may pass.”
In answer Hettar snarled his contempt.
The door closed behind them with a solid thump. Before the pale shaft of light rising from the rune-scribed floor, Hettar stopped to stare.
“Yes, that is the Key to Power.” Sarai recalled her own moment of truth. “You can yet withdraw if you feel unequal to the task.”
“I do not retreat.”
Sarai thrust her hand into the cool beam, letting the magic flow into her. “Then reach forth and grasp the Key to Power.”
Hettar hesitated for the barest moment before thrusting his own hand into the light. Power surged and Sarai barely managed to damp it before it could rage out of control.
After the initial jolt she refocused upon her surroundings. She barely recognized the twisted ruin upon the floor as Hettar. Yet he clung to life with a tenacity fit for a legendary hero. “You tricked me.”
Sarai shook her head. “No, Hettar, you deceived yourself. We tried to warn you, but you refused to believe in your certainty we must be withholding it out of selfishness.”
She saw no point in telling him the rest — that the one who brought an unworthy student before the Key to Power also faced a heavy penalty. Never again would she wield magic, for the Key had burned it from her, forever.
Leigh Kimmel is a writer, artist and historian with degrees in Russian language and literature and in history.
GD Star Rating
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11 Responses to “THE END OF HER LINE • by Leigh Kimmel”
Comments
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October 5th, 2010 at 3:36 am
‘fraid this did little for me.
The problem seems to be that the story’s part of a bigger whole.
Having the unfamiliar words ‘Hettar’, ‘Oludai’, ‘mage’ and ‘Sarai’ thrown at me in the first sentence was a bit too much.
And who’s this guy ‘Hubris’?
October 5th, 2010 at 5:03 am
So, all the magi before her would rather die than have their magic taken from them? Cool.
I also think this story is a small part of a bigger story but certainly one worth telling. It would be interesting to see how Sarai adapted to life without magical powers. Can she get them back somehow?
Needs fleshing out but I enjoyed it.
October 5th, 2010 at 8:17 am
I don’t know how I feel about this. It stareted off interesting but the ending left a bitter tas in my mouth for some reason. I agree with ajcap though, this peice could work as part of a longer story.
October 5th, 2010 at 9:07 am
Not bad, I enjoyed it. I believe hubris wasn’t a character, but the noun acting out of excessive pride. I’m not sure it requires lengthening as it was written as flash, just a pinch of a story to leave a small impression. Kudos.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:53 am
Was it Gandalf the Grey or another wise man who once said that every 17 year old should be reading fantasy but no 35 year old should? This story was generally well written despite the few odd turns of phrase – “speck of self control”? – and the repetition of the word “hubris” – and shows a good feeling for the genre, but I think that, probably like Paul, it would have done more for me 20 years ago. I’m just too old. And who is this guy Kudos, Ryan?
October 5th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
It was fine on the first read. On the second read, I found myself wondering why the mages didn’t come up with that plan before they got killed. Surely it would have made sense to them for either the oldest or least talented/skilled/etc. to take one for the team rather than get everyone killed.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I would have liked a bit more. Period
A well though out story though!
Four stars nevertheless
October 5th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
Hubris…..formal pride and or arrogance
Does no one have a DICTIONARY ????????
October 5th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
“And who’s this guy ‘Hubris’?”
Er, I was joking! Check the word ‘joke’ in your DICTIONARY
October 6th, 2010 at 1:03 am
I was thinking, unless there were some way for more advanced students to finish their studies on their own or for Sarai to get them there even without her former skills, the whole craft would end. But the final passage suggests that a master is needed (unless that comes at entry level?). Of course, there’s the whole chicken/egg thing of how it ever got started – maybe by the intervention of a higher power, the way mediaeval smiths thought that God must have given the first smith the first tongs (since they could only make things with tongs, although they could improvise for other tools they needed).
October 7th, 2010 at 3:39 am
The end was bit of a let down. Even considering that all those mages used magic only for good and hence couldn’t defend themselves, the climax just didn’t pack a punch.
Maybe the story needed more fleshing out.