Comments on: THE FORTUNE OF A PEARL • by K. Bond

By: K. Bond

K. Bond — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:00:51 +0000

Uggghh, terrible reviews! I do appreciate all of the indepth advice and intend to utilize it for future stories. Also, thanks to those of you who pointed out its positive aspects.

Mielaeh, you hit the nail on the head by describing this teen as “impetuous.” I’m sorry I didn’t develop Mae’s character enough to make this trait as obvious to the reader as I intended. –k

By: Mielaeh

Mielaeh — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:43:45 +0000

I like the story in general. I like the idea and I like the shaman character. The girl I didnt like. I didnt think a young girl that would be so determined to climb a rock face to speak with a shaman would then get to the top and start “whooping and stomping” and then mere moments later ask questions “soberly” and maintain composure. Then throw herself off a cliff in a brash moment. If you maintained from the start of the story that this was a young girl who was very impetuous then it may have worked out better. The main flaw is the inconsistency of the girl.

By: Pilgrimage

Pilgrimage — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:17:19 +0000

I like it. Okay, not enough information about the girl to answer for her inconsistencies, but still. We often go to the expert to get our own opinion approved, not to get information. And I like the shaman. I like him talking to himself at the end.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:12:49 +0000

I liked this story, but it needed more. More devlopment, more plot, just more.