Note pinned to the blouse of a dead woman surrounded by broken glass on the sidewalk outside a twenty-story hotel:
“For the love of God, my children are being held hostage in room 1828.
This was the only way I could get help. They said they would shoot me if I tried anything.”
Ty Johnston has been writing speculative fiction for almost 20 years. Most recently he has been working on a fantasy trilogy. Find out more at tyjohnston.blogspot.com.
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18 Responses to “THE NOTE • by Ty Johnston”
Comments
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May 10th, 2008 at 3:13 am
great work…if it was three words less it would qualify as “Dribble” I have a 50 word dibble piece in boston Lit soon….i storngly suggest you submit something like this to them, it’s great
May 10th, 2008 at 4:34 am
Very powerful and uncomfortable. Makes you mentally write your own backstory. BostonLit is a good idea.
Cheers
Mark
May 10th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Wow. Concise and poignant.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:23 am
That was a kick in the gut. Good work.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Oh, I love this – excellent work.
May 10th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
LOL!
May 10th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Wow…so ittty-bitty but very clever!!!Thanks Ty.
May 10th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
are you serious? i did not like that at all…sorry i don’t mean to be harsh….it is mothers day tomorrow.
May 10th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Wow, I told myself I was too tired to read a story tonight, but you gave me a great one in 3 lines. Now I can go to bed thinking about it.
Thanks, Ty.
May 11th, 2008 at 8:41 am
I liked this! Scary, touching and very well done in so little space.
May 11th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
only in your country….mothers day is ages away for people like us brits
May 11th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
It is about a mother making a sacrifice for her children. I thought it was appropriate, but I can see how people might have thought it was jarring.
May 11th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Well that brings the day to a halt!
Not only have you successfully written a fun little exercise in conciseness, Ty, you’ve managed to become EDF’s highest paid author yet! You’re making more there at $.0189/word then I can pay you at Flashing Swords!
Nice job.
May 11th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Ty:
I can only think of one shorter story with this kind of killer kick – Gary Cadwaller’s brilliant two word drabble entitled “Splat!”
The body?
“Sorry, Tinkerbell”
yours was darn near as good. Excellent!
Chaz
May 11th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Thanks everyone for your comments. I have to give credit, though, to the folks at EDF who suggested a couple of small changes that made this little tale stronger and even a few words shorter.
May 12th, 2008 at 12:20 am
It’s a neat idea but I don’t see how killing herself helped her kids. Having jumped out of the hotel room her kids were being held in the first thing they’re going to do is try to move a bunch of distraught children. May even make more sense to cut their losses and finish off the witnesses before making their escape. I don’t buy that a mother would see LEAVING her children as an option.
How would attaching the note to something else and throwing it through the window have been any worse. If she got shot it has to be better than falling to your death.
Also, have you seen the glass in most hotels? You would need to be determined to get through it.
May 12th, 2008 at 12:25 am
[...] The Note [...]
June 11th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Really neat story. Way to pack a punch into just a few words. Great job.