“Mum, what was Grandma’s full name?” As Primrose spoke, a heavy perfume filled the room.
“Agatha Myrtle Galbraith; why, love?”
“If we’re going to apologise we should get things right.”
“Primrose, are you sure you want to do this?”
“What can you smell?”
“Lilac.”
“What can you hear?”
“Your sisters, crying.”
“Then what choice do I have?”
“You’re sure Grandma is really haunting the twins? Perhaps they’re just frightened because they saw her die.”
“She’s been dead for almost a year and they’re getting worse, not better. And the scent hasn’t faded, it gets stronger each time she’s mentioned, I’m sure that’s why we’ve all got sore throats.”
Rose helped her daughter find a brooch and shawl of Agatha’s. As they handled the shawl, the scent increased.
Primrose and her sisters walked to the hall.
“Will Grandma really be there?”
“Yes, Chloe. Then you and Louise can apologise for frightening her. I’ll say sorry too, because I think she’s angry with all of us.”
“Then she’ll leave us alone?”
“I hope so.”
Inside the hall, Primrose marked out a five pointed star. She placed a candle in every segment, then ushered her sisters into place. Her Grandmother’s shawl and brooch were placed in the empty places. Primrose lit each candle.
“Now we must all think about her.”
“It won’t really work, will it?”
“Just saying sorry won’t, but I’m going to call her back from the dead. We’ll make her go away.”
“That’s not what you told Mum.”
“She wouldn’t let us do this if I’d told the whole truth.”
“What if it doesn’t work? Will Grandma never leave us alone?” asked Louise.
“Are you going to do this? It won’t work if we don’t all do it.”
“We will, Primrose,” chorused the twins.
“As I was saying, when she comes we’ll tell her we’re sorry.”
They each thought of the dead woman. Primrose remembered how her Grandma spread nasty rumours about her father, suggesting an unhealthy attachment to his daughters. She remembered too, everything she’d heard of her mother’s awful childhood.
The twins remembered their grandmother calling them close and then giving painful pinches. She said nasty things about their mother and tried turning them against their sister. They remembered too that afternoon, exactly a year ago. They had listened to their teacher talking about bullies.
“Bullies are really cowards,” Miss said. “You should always report them, and if you can, stand up to them, it sometimes frightens them off.”
They told their sister, who agreed Grandma was a bully. The twins decided to frighten her away. They hid in this hall and waited for her to come for piano practise. They appeared under a sheet, wailing. She hadn’t died of fright because she realised who they were. She became angry. She’d screamed and chased them, walking stick raised. She fell down the steps, broken her neck and died. The family thought they’d lost the bully until the funeral. The sweet sickly scent was so strong the guests quickly left and her angry presence was felt.
A year later, the sisters still smelt the lilac fragrance.
“Agatha Myrtle Galbraith, we call you to us. Agatha Myrtle Galbraith, we call you to us,” Primrose whispered.
Her voice became louder each time she repeated the incantation. Her sisters joined in the chant. Slowly the shawl and brooch stirred and rose. The shawl draped as if supported by a body. The brooch hung as if pinned onto it. The candles flickered and dimmed.
The light regained its strength to reveal a figure wrapped in the shawl. It was faint, barely the shadow of a reflection. They recognised Agatha.
“Sorry we frightened you, Grandma,” said Louise.
“We didn’t want you to die, just to see what it’s like to be scared.”
“They are sorry, Grandma, and I’m sorry too. I should have known what they were planning and stopped them,” Primrose said.
The girls repeated their apologies and each in turn begged Agatha to leave them in peace. As they spoke the lilac scent increased. Through their streaming eyes, they saw the figure growing taller and stronger. Agatha was now more substantial than she’d been in life. She looked bright and strong. They screamed.
“Well, I’m not sorry,” shouted Rose from the doorway. “You were cruel to me and you were cruel to the children.” Rose hugged the girls. “When Ralph died you said you wanted us to come home. I thought you’d changed. I was wrong. You just wanted to share your misery.”
As Rose shouted, the figure began to spin, sending sparks and clouds of perfume at every turn. She became paler, smaller.
“Agatha Myrtle Galbraith, we called you to us, now we send you back. Agatha Myrtle Galbraith, we send you back,” said Primrose.
All four of them repeated the phrase. Agatha spun faster and faster. Then with a hiss, she cast off the shawl and flew about the hall wailing and thrashing. Lilac scent choked them and the unearthly sounds throbbed through their bodies.
Then silence. Agatha was gone.
They never smell lilac now, except in the spring when the flowers bloom.
Patsy Collins lives on the south coast of England, opposite the Isle of Wight. Her stories have been published in a range of UK magazines including; The Lady, Woman\’s Weekly and My Weekly. Her work has also been accepted by a variety of websites including Every Day Fiction and PatientUK.
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24 Responses to “THE SCENT OF LILAC • by Patsy Collins”
Comments
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April 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 am
Wow! Dunno if i’ll be able to sleep tonight!
A spooky 5 from me.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:45 am
What a relief they were able to get off the scented trail of grandma! Good story, scared s five out of me!
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:22 am
Great one..Reminded me of the horror shows..
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:36 am
I would have liked this more had you developed Rose’s character more. Although her daughter is the initiator of the story’s action, it’s Rose who finds (I presume) the courage to stand up to her dead mother; this story is really about her.
Some tense difficulties got in the way of story, as well. The flashback sequence was confusing for a moment because of this, which threw me out of the story while I figured out what was going on.
Finally – too many characters! Primrose, dead grannie, Rose, Louise and Chloe, old teacher – a lot of folks to keep track of in a short piece.
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 am
Story of girls and their mother who are together haunted by an old female bully, the grandmother of the household, now dwelling in the afterworld. They have already been taught in this home how to get rid of such bullies in the feminine way – by incantations of apologies, a sort of prayer; but it’s the mothers’ “we don’t love you” incantation spoken to the ghost which is strongest against the supernatural magic of the bully. This story really didn’t grab me in and I have found generally that stories that rely on bibbidy-bobbidy-boo for interest generally don’t.
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:59 am
I felt this one needed work. There’s the abrupt POV shift that Bob mentioned, and then I couldn’t see where the mother left the girls to go about their summoning business; she suddenly wasn’t in the scene anymore. Short stories often have to rely on the reader taking some things for granted but this was really leaning on that crutch. Some repeat words and other technical issues rounded out the problems with this story.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:02 am
That was a good little story. I agree with Bob though, the story would be more interesting if you devoped the charascter of Rose more.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:36 am
Haunting, lovely, compelling…(spelling off is some spots but may have been for dialogue.) EDF shines today.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:46 am
JohnOBX –
Following the line “After Rose helped her daughter find a brooch…” is the line ” Primrose and her sisters walked to the hall. Later in the story, while the unsuccessful incantations are in session, Rose, the mother appears in the doorway: “”Well, I’m not sorry,” shouted Rose from the doorway.”"
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:15 am
Not really scary or anything. Just seems like a description of a dysfunctional family. Didn’t really care for this one much.
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 am
Lovely old-fashion “Night Gallery” type story. A bit confusing in parts. but, I give it a 4 star rating for the chills. :~)
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
All rather showing rather than telling and lengthy chunks of dialogue, but good end and concept.
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:25 am
I am agreeing with Bob and Jen that perhaps Rose should have been the emphasis of the story. I read it a second time with a “flow chart” to better understand the characters and their relationship with one another. The story feels like it could have been told without the sisters (Chloe & Louise).
When there is a lot of dialogue and 5 characters, it helps to identify, in places, the charachter that is speaking. A decent ghost story.
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:34 am
I liked the detail of the lilac scent. Interesting and gave it a spooky feel.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this and especially to those who have posted comments.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
Good job. One of the better ones. Very interesting, great dialogue.
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
Garden variety ghost story (yes, I punned) which didn’t thrill me. Why would Rose allow her daughters to do this, knowing her mother was a bully? Other “whys” come to mind, but I’m not engaged enough to pursue it.
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:53 am
Alan W. Davidson has an interesting approach to fiction, applying his knowledge of other disciplines to the discipline of story. As Occam’s razor would have it, accept the simplest theory which include all the discovered data of a studied event. In this case I agree with Alan that it is seems unnecessary to the story to have others beside mother. It would be at least as effective an exorcism if the mother, alone, carried a phosphorescent crystal ball around the rooms in her hands while she proclaims “You are not loved, you are not loved,” Not only would there be a more mysterious, languid dreaminess in the imagery offered to our poetic souls, there would be a lessened burden on the reader with four fewer characters to trace and no risk of mistaking Rose for Primrose.
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I really enjoyed this. Yeah – there might have been a few too many characters, but liked the misdirection you gave us. Initially we think they are grieving for the grandmother & I enjoyed the twist when we realise that isn’t the case. Yeah – the story was really about Rose, but she didn’t have the courage to face her bullying mother until she realised her children were really suffering. So, for me, it rang true psychologically.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 am
Thanks everyone.
April 5th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I liked the idea of the granny being the bully something you don’t see too often. As a short I thought it worked and enjoyed the read.
April 6th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Well done. I’d end it after “silence” and leave the last couple of dozen words unwritten, but still, well-crafted by a writer who understands storytelling.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Thank you!
April 17th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
TW and Jen: I agree with comments 31 and 54 that authors have the right to make changes in a published (or unpublished) story, but not others.