“Okay, push!”
The woman’s face squinched up, reddening with effort.
Sweat trickled down the back of his neck.
“Maybe if you wiggled a bit,” he suggested.
“Like this?”
“Ah, here let me–” He shoved harder.
“Ow!” she howled, her lardonous body jiggling. “It’s too tight!”
“Obviously,” he said. “Can we now try your real shoe size?”
Kay Patterson lives in the outskirts of Pittsburgh. She is the creator and senior editor of AlienSkin Magazine. Her tales have appeared in numerous print and online magazines, with her most work appearing or upcoming in Murky Depths, From the Asylum, Apex Digest; and in the anthologies, Read By Dawn with Ramsey Campbell, Black Box, and FlashSpec II.
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9 Responses to “VANITY • by K. A. Patterson”
Comments
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October 8th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Heh-Heh-Heh!!!
Oh, that’s just too funny!!!
Brings tears to my eyes.
October 8th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Maybe a shoe horn, a rub of lard and a prayer? Heehee
October 8th, 2007 at 10:06 am
I love it!!!
All sorts of images went through my mind before I got to the end.
October 8th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
HAHAHAHA!
October 8th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Great set up, letting the readers write their own story - then down to earth!
Cheers
Mark
October 8th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
The mind boggled, until the last line! I thought she was delivering a baby or something LOL
Well done!
Clyde.
October 9th, 2007 at 6:05 am
I totally thought she was pregnant! The shoe line was awesome, especially because I know people like this.
October 9th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Glad you liked my little tale. It was fun to write. Writer’s Digest Magazine posted a little writing exercise, challenging writers to write tight little tales–this was years ago, long before micro-fiction hit the Web. It’s a great excerise in word choice and concise story-telling. Try it!
October 30th, 2007 at 9:46 am
[...] Vanity [...]