“Marriage is like a good stew,” said the bearded guru in an open-collar blue silk shirt and neatly pressed jeans. “It’s a delicate blending of flavors, spices and herbs.”
Tom squirmed in his seat. He turned to his wife and whispered loud enough for the people sitting near them to hear, “We paid twenty-five bucks for this?
“Shh.”
“Alone each ingredient has its own integrity, but when integrated into a carefully created mix, a new and wondrous…”
“I can’t take this anymore. I’m going to pee.” Tom stood up, trying to inch his way down the aisle. The woman on his left made a “tsk” sound as he stepped in front of her. The man to her left made a drama of pulling in his big feet as Tom passed. He disturbed one more couple and then he was free. Walking to the men’s room Tom thought: Marriage is like walking through a crowded lecture hall trying not to step on anyone’s foot. No, no. Marriage is like a bowl of steaming stew with the handles on the inside. Hey, Tom thought as he pushed open the heavy doors of the lecture hall and headed towards the restroom, I’m pretty good at this. Maybe I can become a cliché consultant to marriage counselors?
Without thinking, Tom walked past the hall with an arrow pointing to the restrooms and out the front door. He was shocked at how chilly it had become. September in Atlanta was like that. One minute it was summer, the next an autumn wind chilled the air. Another marriage analogy, Tom thought. I should be writing this down.
Instead he started walking up Peachtree Street, looking at the array of hotels and concrete and glass office towers. Remembering reading that there are no peach trees planted along Peachtree Street, Tom contemplated another marriage metaphor. Marriage, like Atlanta, certainly isn’t all pink blooms and sweet fruit. There’s a lot of cold glass and hard concrete and, Tom stared at a huge pile of debris from a building recently torn down, it’s always under construction.
Tom stopped walking. He looked for a sign to discover what was being built at the site and what was torn down. He saw no sign. Too easy an analogy, Tom thought. I’ve driven by this spot a hundred times but I can’t remember what was there. By spring a new office building will sprout up looking like it’s always been there. The new building won’t necessarily be better or worse, but we’ll get used to it and then another building will come down and another will fill the void.
Damn! That marriage guru’s got me doing it. Get your clichés here! Tom wanted to shout aloud. Hot clichés, here!
Tom checked his watch. Sarah’s going to worry if I don’t get back soon, he thought. He turned and walked back, quickening his pace.
He thought of Sarah and her large, dark eyes. He loved her eyes more than anything, especially when he made her laugh. Somehow when she laughed her eyes got so big they looked like she might audition for an old-fashioned minstrel show.
Tom suddenly realized how little she laughed lately. How little they laughed. It’s not that they were going through rough times. Lord knows they’ve had rougher times than this. Tom thought of how hard it was when Sarah’s father died and her mother came to live with them until she passed. They raised two teenagers, for crying out loud. And that cancer scare was no picnic either. But they held tight and made it. They even became closer.
So what was happening now? Their children were grown and on their own. Jason seems happy, Tom thought, and his new wife calls us Mom and Dad so naturally. I wish Pam weren’t such a workaholic but she’s developing a successful law practice. She’ll slow down when she can.
And we’re winding down our own careers. In the next couple of years, I’m going to start looking for a buyer. It’s time I sold the business or at least took in a couple of partners and reduced my responsibilities. It’ll be good spending more time with Sarah. I’d like to do more traveling. We’ve been putting off that cruise around the Greek islands too long. Sarah can retire anytime she wants. She’s been talking about it for years now.
Things have never been better for us. The house is paid for, we have enough money to be comfortable. I didn’t invest with Madoff. What more can I ask?
Tom entered the hotel walking straight to the Magnolia Room where Graham Gunther, author of Marriage Is a Two-Way Street, still pontificated. He stood at the back of the room and watched Sarah, marveling at how much she still looked like the teenager he married more than thirty years earlier. He saw his empty seat next to her and rushed to fill it.
As he made his way down the aisle he heard a “tsk” from the woman sitting to his left.
“Where’ve you been?” Sarah whispered.
“Walking and thinking. Of you. Of us.”
Sarah took his hand and squeezed it.
“All marriages have their ups and downs, their peaks and their valleys,” said the guru in the silk shirt.
Tom bit his tongue.
“I missed you,” Sarah said. “This guy’s horrible. I missed your sarcasm.”
“Shh,” said the woman sitting next to him.
“Go shh yourself,” Tom said.
Sarah’s eyes bulged as she laughed aloud.
Tom and Sarah stood up to go home, delighting in annoying the woman sitting next to them, and still holding hands.
Wayne Scheer has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and a Best of the Net. His work has appeared in print and online in a variety of publications, including The Christian Science Monitor, Notre Dame Magazine, Eclectica, flashquake and The Internet Review of Books. Revealing Moments, a collection of twenty-four flash stories, is available at Thumbscrews Press.
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19 Responses to “WHEN I HEARD THE LEARN’D MARRIAGE COUNSELOR • by Wayne Scheer”
Comments
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June 17th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Really enjoyed the first half. The exposition in the middle slowed things down, but it finished on a high.
Thanks for the read
June 17th, 2009 at 2:15 am
Very sweet story without that cloying sticky feeling. And yup, been married long enough to appreciate the point of view!:)
June 17th, 2009 at 3:36 am
A great story and deftly told. A five from me.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:02 am
Nice story.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:17 am
April 6, 1972 for my husband and I, so, we can certainly relate to this story. Great job!
June 17th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Done so well that readers comment on how it affected them personally. Commanding.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:56 am
Been married 30+ years – you nailed it. And you made me smile, too. Nice work!
June 17th, 2009 at 7:39 am
I’m not much for having characters think to themselves as if they were conversing – it seems artificial. But that’s a minor quibble, and this story isn’t the only one to suffer from it. That said, the characterization was dead-on, the tone sounded right, and it was nice to have a grown-up story about grown-ups being grown up.
June 17th, 2009 at 8:11 am
So why are they at the marriage counselor?
That and the title (I was expecting a 1st person POV tale) put me off a little. Some funny insights and a nice ending. The middle exposition (starting with “Tom suddenly realized…” and ending with “..about it for years now” dragged this down a bit, I thought.
–John
June 17th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Aww, what a sweet story. It’s good to see that Tom and Sarah can find their way back together and they didn’t even need the stupid marriage councillor.
June 17th, 2009 at 8:21 am
I agree with Ad lad completely and I think more attention might be given part of the ending, “‘Where’ve you been?’ Sarah whispered. ‘Walking and thinking. Of you. Of us.’” — shortening Tom’s cliched recital of life’s stresses and joys and the cliches of his intention to throw life away to retirement and boredom. Tom and Sarah’s annoyance of the woman is probably an angry spillover from having to sit through the grating annoyance of the silly “counselor.”
Very good story, convincing of true experience.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
“Walking and thinking. Of you. Of us.” I wish you’d left the second phrase off entirely–talk about clichés! Other than that, great story.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Must agree about the laboured middle part, but otherwise a sound piece of work.
Not too sure about the bulging eyes – I kept imagining Martie Feldman. Maybe you could give Sarah another endearing trait.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Well told. Thanks.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I enjoyed this story. Very sweet. And it seems very true to life. It’s when things are going well that it seems that a marriage can fall apart. You tend to grow closer in the rough times. I hope Tom and Sarah stay together forever!
June 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Why wasn’t Sarah laughing very much lately? The ending was sweet, for a little while I thought it wasn’t going to end so sweetly.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
This story is a great story about long-term love, and a couple rediscovering itself.
June 18th, 2009 at 5:12 am
Mike Bayles – I agree with you totally. The big question of the story is how will they do it? I think the story’s answer is think deeply of eachother, not turn to a stranger for an answer.
June 18th, 2009 at 6:49 am
I loved it–funny and sweet. Gave it 5 stars.